Page 71 of Against All Odds

It’s been almost two months.

“This can’t be happening,” I say frantically. I’m not in any freaking place in my life for a child. “Can you run another test? Maybe there’s another reason I’m feeling this shitty. The flu or maybe something else?”

That’s the reason I’m here. I kept getting sick. I vomit, feel nauseated all day, and yesterday was the worst. I couldn’t keepanything down, so I came here, hoping for some answers or ideas.

The doctor puts the file on her lap and her hands on top of it. “I’m afraid the test will show the same thing. I can tell this is upsetting.”

I laugh once. “I’m pregnant with my husband’s baby who’s now engaged to the girl he cheated on me with, and I’m sleeping with my ex while waiting for my divorce to go through. Yeah, upsetting is a good word.”

Instead of censure or judgment, the doctor looks sympathetic. “Do you have a support system in place? Family or friends who are around?”

“No, I’m ... I mean, I have a few friends in Ember Falls, but ... God, I’m going to have to tell him.”

And I don’t even know which him I mean. I have no idea how Dylan will react, but I can only imagine Everett will be absolutely done with me.

She reaches out, resting her hand on mine. “Take a few days, Violet. I recommend that you talk to your friends, and you have options. Just know that, okay?”

I nod. Because what else is there to say?

Although, for me, it doesn’t feel like options. In theory, I wanted a baby. I thought about a family and that was my plan. My choice is to raise this baby or give him or her up for adoption, and I don’t want to do that either.

So, really, it’s option one.

“Good, you’ll want to follow up with an OB-GYN soon.”

“Right. Okay.” My chin trembles, but I hold back. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to feel anything.

“Okay. I’ll have the nurse bring in a list of doctors in the area,” the general practitioner says softly and then rises, leaving the room.

The nurse returns with the list, and I somehow manage to walk out the door and make it to my car.

As I sit in the seat, the tears I was able to hold back in the office begin to stream down my face. I move my hand to my stomach, resting over the child that’s growing inside.

I’m pregnant. I’m going to be a single mom.

And I have no idea what our future looks like.

I don’t even know if I will be a good mom, but I’ll try. Then there’s the money, where we’ll live.

God, then I have to consider whether Dylan will want to be a part of this. Will he even care? Not to mention that this baby will create an entire media circus, and once again I’m going to be thrown back to the wolves.

Despite all the uncertainty, I’m firm in the fact that I want this child. I may not know any of the answers, but I know that I will do whatever I have to. I don’t know that I’ll ever have another chance to be a mother, and, regardless, this child will be loved.

“I’ll protect you,” I promise. “I’ll figure it out and we’ll be okay.”

Before driving home, I glance down at my phone, where there are two text messages.

Ana

How did the appointment go?

Everett

Are you feeling better? Did you go to the doctor to see what’s upsetting your stomach?

My stomach roils, feeling the mix of pregnancy and sorrow. All my life had to fall apart at one time? I couldn’t have it spaced out a little more? Or maybe not at all?

You know, that would’ve been great.

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