Page 31 of Edge of Heaven

Why is he so nice?

This would be much easier if he was a jerk too. Like Callum. Because it’s easy not to care about Callum.

Although…thereisa question that’s been lurking in the back of my mind for a long time.

And it seems like this is as good a time as any to find out the answer.

“Can I ask you a question?” I ask quietly.

“Anything.” He cocks his head slightly.

“How come you never called?”

Chapter9

Mick

Well,isn’t that a question for the ages?

Why didn’t twenty-two-year-old me call the most beautiful girl I’d ever been with?

There are so many answers to that question, none of them satisfying. Not even to me. I’m sure she’ll be even less impressed when I tell her.

“That’s a tough one,” I say after a moment.

“How hard can it be?” she asks. “You must have had a reason for not calling.”

“I had more than one, but it’s hard because it’s not black and white. There were several different things in play back then, but I guess the most important one was that I was a broke-ass musician working part-time in my dad’s auto repair shop. I had absolutely nothing to offer you, and let’s face it—you were way out of my league. Not only were you this up-and-coming model, you were in college. Beautyandbrains. I couldn’t picture a world where we could be together.”

She stares at me, her pretty blue eyes filled with confusion. “You thought… I was out of your league? Seriously? I didn’t care how much money you had.”

“I know. But like I said, there were a lot of pieces to the puzzle of why I didn’t call. We both had dreams that were going to take us far away from Minneapolis. You were already planning to move home to L.A. as soon as you graduated, and my dream was to go on tour. We didn’t have a future, so what was the point?”

“I see.”

Dammit. Somehow, I’ve screwed this up, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Was there a better answer than the truth?

She looks disappointed in me, which sucks.

“You didn’t call me either,” I say after a moment.

We exchanged numbers, so it’s not like she didn’t have a way to get in touch with me.

“There’s this unspoken rule,” she says thoughtfully, “where the girl shouldn’t be the one to reach out. Especially after she’s already put out. I know it’s old-fashioned, but the fact is, lots of guys are only interested in sex. So while everything you said is true, about us going our separate ways and such, deep down I held out hope that you’d call. And when you didn’t, I convinced myself it was because it was no big deal. Nothing more than a few days of good sex and companionship.”

That’s an interesting way to put it.

“Was it…more than good sex and companionship?” I counter curiously. It was for me, but I want to hear her thoughts.

“Wasn’t it?” She meets my gaze directly. “We knew each other for three days and I told you about my kid. I’ve known Ryleigh for six years, and she doesn’t know.”

Our fingers are still laced together, and I wish I had something more meaningful to say about the past. The time we spent together was incredibly meaningful, but twenty-two-year-old me wasn’t mature enough to understand it until a couple of years passed. Actually, it wasn’t until I saw her again last year that I realized how much I wish things had been different.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call.” I squeeze her hand. “I wanted to, but I convinced myself there was no point.”

“I guess subconsciously I felt the same way. It wouldn’t have been the first time I called a guy… I just, I don’t know. I guess I wanted more from you. And that wasn’t fair. For whatever reason, I held you to a higher standard. I guess twenty-year-old me wasn’t all that mature either.”

“I think we get a pass for our younger selves,” I say gently.

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