Page 30 of The Best Trick

“Here we go,” Thor mumbled beside me.

“They can,” Zeus said. “In fact, the word ‘couple’ comes from the Latincopula, meaning bond, and a bond can be four people.”

“Romantic couple means two,” Harley barked.

“Here’s the thing,” Zeus said. “We four are a romantic unit, and we would like our romantic balloon ride. Don’t worry, we’re not gonna fuck up there, we just want the four of us together. To celebrate our romance. Like I said, we’ll make it worth your while.”

Harley did that move where you put your hands on your hips in a way that lets people see that you have a holster with a gun under your jacket. Not the best idea, ever.

“Here’s the thing,” Harley said. “I make the rules here, and you wanna know what one of my rules is?”

“Why don’t you go on and tell me,” Zeus said.

“No perverts allowed,” Harley said.

In a blur of motion, Zeus was on him; one more blur and Zeus had the gun.

“Easy as taking gun candy from a gun baby,” Odin said.

Zeus put on the safety and nestled it into his pocket.

“How about now? Will you make a new rule now?” Zeus asked. “We want our romantic balloon ride for four and to make a champagne toast to our love against the backdrop of the Pacific Ocean as we soar high above the trees. We will pay you fairly to take us up on this romantic balloon ride—double, in fact, because there are two extra people, and then when it's over and after everybody's had a very nice time, we’ll return your party favor.” He patted the gun. “How does that sound?”

Harley gave Odin a pleading look.

Odin usually stepped in when off-the-chain Zeus appeared, but Odin just shrugged. Clearly, off-the-chain Zeus was working for Odin.

Harley glanced at Thor. So, Harley decided to defer to us suddenly?

Getting no help from Thor, Harley finally decided to consult my breasts. Eventually, he managed to drag his eyes up to my actual face. I raised my eyebrows in anI told you soway.

Having our warning come true in such a spectacular fashion was satisfying for sure, but it would’ve been a lot more satisfying if the situation had never come to pass.

“Even if I wanted to do this, there's a limit of three people,” Harley tried.

“Actually, the model of balloon that you fly has a thousand-pound passenger limit. The five of us come in well under that.” As a super-spy, Zeus always did his homework. “It's a beautiful day for a balloon ride, so let's start this thing up.”

“Not going to happen,” Harley said. “Go ahead and shoot me. I'm not taking you up.”

“Would you mind if we take the balloon up ourselves, then?” Zeus asked.

Harley sized him up. “You wanna die? Be my guest.”

“I assure you, we can fly one of these things just fine,” Zeus said. “It might be more fun that way.”

“That doesn’t sound fun at all,” I said.

“This is what you wanted,” Zeus said. “And now you’ll get it.”

“But I don’t want it now,” I said.

Zeus looked incredulous. “You always dreamed of riding in a balloon with us.”

“Riding in a balloon! Not balloon-jacking a balloon!” I said, feeling the tears coming on. My fun mimosa buzz had definitely worn off.

“Baby,” Zeus said. “I can fly one of these things like a boss.”

“While he calls the cops?” I said.

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