Page 60 of The Best Trick

Warily, Stan started getting up. Odin clamped a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down.

“I think Don Pedro had somebody fixing fights,” Stan said. “People were never able to prove it because unlike Wilson, Don Pedro’s people aren't so fucking obvious about everything. They don't go fix fights and then bet a shitload of money on those fights, you know? They play an incremental game, a sustainable game. But Wilson comes in here betting the farm on underdogs, winning big, and then acting all subdued? I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“He didn’t want people to know,” I said.

“The man was ripping off the mob—not money, but information. Definitely not something you want to publicize. I hope Wilson gets the shittiest WITSEC gig ever. Maybe see if there’s any openings for a butthole spurge taste-tester.”

My guys just glared at him, not in the mood for jokes.

“Seriously, it wasn’t enough that the man was making bank on that fake appraisal gig with Don Pedro? He had to bilk a hard-working businessman like myself?”

“Did any of his people ever come in here?” Thor asked. “His wife, his brother, any of his friends?”

“Nah,” Stan said. “Always alone.”

“Did you ever get a sense for if he hid his winnings from his wife, his brother, any of his people?”

“Nah. He did sometimes make reference to a rainy day fund. And a rainy-day fund is usually a secret. But I really don't know.”

“This is good information,” Odin said.

“We’re good?” Stan asked.

“Go on and get up,” Zeus said.

Stan stood. His eyes slid again over my body. Zeus grabbed his cheeks and turned his face back toward him.

“Now we’re not good again,” Zeus barked.

“I'm sorry!” Stan said. “How am I supposed to control my reactions when she looks like that? A man can't control his actions when a woman looks like her!”

“Ugh! What the hell!” I groaned. He sounded like a sexual predator, talking like that.

“Yeah, what the hell!” Zeus was back in action, pinning Stan the Man to the wall. “Maybe I can’t control my actions, either,” Zeus rumbled. “When I hear you talking like that, how am I not ripping off your face right now? How can it be?”

“What?” Stan protested. “It’s just nature.”

“Does Isis’s hotness have afucking-gremote control on you?” Odin asked.

Zeus sputtered angrily and lifted him higher.

“Okay, okay,” Stan the Man whined.

“Answer the question. How is Zeus currently controlling his reactions when your words are making him want to rip off your face?”

Stan the Man looked worried. “Motor control?”

“Very good. Zeus is a human being with a brain and motor control, and that’s why you’re alive right now, just like you have motor control. You’re gonna remember that the next time you see a hot woman. And now you're going to use it to apologize to Ice.”

“Sorry,” he grunted out.

“Apologize better!” Odin bit out. “Or you’ll be taste-testing the butthole spurge!”

“I don't want him to apologize again,” I said. “His apologies are bad. Let's just go.”

Zeus let him down. “Ice will now receive a parting gift.” He spun around and led the way out. We all followed.

“I don’t want a gift,” I said, catching up to him. “I just want to be out of here.”

---