Page 112 of The Kingpin's Call Girl

“There’s nothing interesting about those books, I promise you.”

“Are you kidding?The Dawn of Western Civilization? That is nothing if not—” Her words die as she attempts to extract the book from the shelf and instead gets the boxy cardboard shell disguised to look like a row of books.

“Oh my God! What the hell?” She holds the thing like it’s a dead rat.

“I told you they weren’t interesting.”

She regards me with horror. “It’s just a cardboard facade! Are all of these...?”

“All of them.” I take it from her hand and put it back.

“Why would you have fake books on your shelves?”

“Well, theyarebookshelves.”

She squints at me. “But those aren’t books!”

“Who cares? Do I look like a librarian to you?”

“You do read books, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Well, where are the books that you’ve loved? Are there books out there that you imagine you might like to read? Or that you’re currently reading? I mean... shells made to look like books? Who does that?”

Shells made to look like books.

The phrase is jam-packed with scorn. Leave it to Edie to get this upset about fake books.

“This stuff out here is just for show. It was here when I moved in. It’s just staging stuff.”

“This is a staged home? And you kept it like this? Why would you live in a home that’s just for show?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, for starters, what if you want to read an actual book?”

“If I wanted to read a book, I’d go out and buy it, or I’d order it as an ebook. I’m not somebody who collects a lot of stuff.”

“But you own this place, right?”

“Yes, and I like it the way it is.”

“So you like fake books?”

I go to her. “Maybe.”

“Shut up! Don’t you want to have things you love around you?”

It’s the sort of thing the real estate agent said to me. I gave her a flip answer, but I won’t do that with Edie.

“I don’t have things I love. Objects. Art I’ve gathered or whatever. I’m used to being on the move. I’m used to spending my time in hotels, barracks, and bombed-out buildings. A home has always been more of a transaction. Something temporary that serves a specific need.”

“As opposed to something personal.”

“Yes.”

“But this place, it’s beautiful. Out of all the homes you could have chosen, you picked this one. The fact that you picked it out makes it personal.”

---