I spend most of the day studying for my Indo-European exam in the commons. I’m armed with a full supply of suckers and highlighters and my best headphones. I need to make some progress.
Odetta and her friend Brittany join me after a while, and it helps to have them there, studying right in front of me, reminding me that I’m still a normal girl.
Even so, I can’t get Luka out of my mind. One moment I’m memorizing Latin word roots, and the next I’m back in that bathroom with him telling me to look at him. Or I’m back in that restaurant booth with his heavy hand on my thigh, anchoring me to the heaven and hell of his dark control. And then in that restroom again with him swiping a soft, warm, wet washcloth between my legs, tending to me in a way that spins me up with too many feelings.
I’m grateful that I have Latin in the afternoon because it’s such a bear—really old and nobody actually speaks it. The perfect way to get me out of my body and into my head, which is where I need to be.
I hurry down the steps, repeating verb declensions, and nearly jump out of my skin when a guy wearing thick glasses and an oversized Packers windbreaker comes up to me. “Edie?”
I clutch my book to my chest. “Yeah?”
He lowers his voice. “Janey says you’ve got some queries for the dark web.”
“Oh!” It’s Janey’s dark web friend. “Darren?”
“At your service.”
Darren has the type of frizzy hair that you can’t really part, but he’s used a lot of product in an attempt to make it part because dudes just don’t know things.
He gives me a sheet of paper. In hushed tones, he explains that the top number is an account number and gives instructions about depositing enough bitcoin into it to buy an hour of his time. He tells me what it is in dollars, and it’s not a ton of money.
“You in?”
“Yes.”
He hands over a small pad of paper. “Write your questions here in the order of priority.”
“Okay.” I stare down at the pad. “Mostly, I’m looking for information on my sister. I could email you the details?—”
“No emails. Write them down for me.”
I write down her full name—Mary Francesca Carson—along with her birthdate, last known address, and all the details that I think will help him find things out about her.
He takes a look. “Missing person. That won’t take the whole hour. Got any other questions for my leftover time? My minimum is an hour. You’re paying for it anyway.”
I take back the pad. I should let that be the end of my questions, but I can’t help it.
Information about Luka Zogaj, the new leader of the Ghost Hound Clan, specifically regarding his brother. How did he kill his brother? Why would he kill his brother in such a way?
I pause before handing it back, tapping the pen on the pad. It’s not that I’ll tell Bender, but I want to know. Ineedto know. I hand it back. “Just if you have time.”
He reads it and laughs. “The Ghost Hound Clan. Now we’re cooking with gas.”
“Yeah?”
He smiles. “I’ll get you everything gettable on your sister and everything out there on Luka Zogaj and his brother. Nobody willgive you better service than me. Nobody will be more thorough.” He tells me to meet him around the corner from his residence hall. He’ll hand me a copy ofThe Elements of Styleby Strunk and White, and my answers will be on a sheet of paper folded inside.
“The Elements of Style?”
He shrugs. “It’s a book you’d borrow from me, and it’s easy to get a shit ton of them because they get updated so often. You could probably find a hundred of them in the dumpster outside Beacomb Hall right now if you looked.”
Odetta and I are back in our room that night sharing a big bowl of popcorn and watching the latest installment ofLove is Blind, a show where people talk to each other from different rooms without being able to see each other.
It reminds me of me and Luka in an odd way. We don’t know everyday things about each other, but we’ve hooked into each other deep down. I get his sense of humor. I know it pushes his buttons when I seem to judge him for something. I know he’s possessive and powerful and dangerous and a good leader who hated his brother enough to kill him. I know he’s got major commitment issues, what with his insistence that our relationship is nothing more than a transaction—he uses that word enough!
Odetta says something about the show, and I realize I’ve spaced out, thinking about Luka. I can’t seem to stop.
They say focus acts like a magnet, narrowing your world to the object you’re concentrating on. That’s why people tell you not to focus on the negative things in life.