Page 103 of Breathless

“Logan wants to give you the space you need, but I know how much he cares about you.” When I let her go, she shakes her head. “I feel terrible that I asked my son to keep my health situation a secret. I’m sure that’s what led him to think he couldn’t talk about this to anyone. I hope everything will be okaytonight?”

Tonight meaning the wedding. “I’ve needed time. I… I guess my feelings were really hurt,but—”

“You don’t need to explain anything to me.” She pats my hand. “Just don’t give up on my son. He’s a knucklehead, but that boy loves with a big heart and is loyal as the day is long. Look at the hullabaloo he went through for me. Now that’s the kind of man you want by your side.” With a wink, she trots off down the front steps before I canrespond.

Back in my room, I line up Logan’s cards on thedresser.

Even though I don’t feel quite like myself yet, even though some part of me is still upended by what happened with Samantha, I can’t deny a glimmer of hope flickers in me when I read Logan’s slanted handwriting scrawled across thepages.

Sometimes,you’re the only person who can make mesmile.

When you werein high school you were quiet around so many people, but you always talked to me. I loved that. You’ve always been special to me,Jojo.

Doyou remember when you were seven and found that bird with the injured wing? Everyone told you it was going to die, but you refused to listen. You nursed it and cared for it until it could fly again. That’s what you do for your friends and family. You love us until we can flyagain.

Alumpin my throat forms every time I read thosewords.

A lump that forms into a boulder when I unfold the letter Logan sent meyesterday.

The one that describes how his father warned him away from me in high school because he thought we weren’t a good match. Because Mr. Carter thought I was too young and Logan too much of a player to ever settledown.

But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that warning had more to do with Mr. Carter’s inability to curtail his wandering eye thanLogan.

And to learn that conversation happened on the day Mr. Carter died? It explains so many things. Like why Logan stopped hanging out with me and started partying again. I mull over those words, and oddly, it helps me make sense of our past. Of the way Logan distanced himself from me after his fatherpassed.

That’sone of my greatest regrets. I should’ve waited foryou.

I’d always thoughtI’d imagined him liking me. That, like a lovesick teenager, I had deluded myself into seeing something that wasn’tthere.

Knowing he had feelings for me back then stitches back something I didn’t know wasbroken.

My lips tug up when I open the notes Bev dropped off thismorning.

Ialmost askedyou to my senior prom. I’m still sorry Ididn’t.

The first timeI kissed you, I finally understood why people write lovesongs.

Excitement boltsthrough me when I think about seeing Logan today. I missed last night’s rehearsal dinner because I’d had a headache that concerned everyone. Even though it subsided by the time Kat and Brady left, we decided not to take any chances. That it was better if I was restedtoday.

Honestly, I’m prepared to drag myself down the aisle this evening if it’s the last thing Ido.

Leaning closer to the mirror, I finger the angry scar across my hairline. The stitches just came out. I figure it doesn’t look that bad considering it’s been just a little over two weeks since that wackadoodle took a bat to mynoggin.

Kat knocks on the door and pokes her head in. “Do you need any help loading up thetruck?”

“No. I packed what I needed last night except the dress so I wouldn’t forget anything.” Because I’m not exactly a hundred percent. Sometimes my mind feels fuzzy, but I’ve sworn to Kat and Tori I’m well enough to do their hair for the ceremony. I’m sure as heck not going to let Samantha take this away fromme.

When I’m alone again, I open the last newenvelope.

Ihopeyou’ll marry me someday and that our kids look like you. They’ll be hellraisers like me, no doubt. Sorry in advance if they are, but just think how much fun we’ll have wrangling our brood. I love you, Jo. I think I have for a while. I’m sorry I didn’t get my shit together sooner and figure it out. But I know what I want now. It’s you. It’ll always beyou.

Iwipe awaythe surprising tears that spring from my eyes. For the first time since I came face to face with Samantha at Logan’s, the words I haven’t been able to say to Logan rise in myheart.

49

Joey

Tori grins up at me.“My hair looks amazing. Thank you so much!” She leaps out of the chair and squishes me in ahug.

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