Page 14 of Breathless

I point at the kids before they get up in arms about the curse word. “For your information, ‘ass’ means ‘donkey.’”

Mila tilts her head, staring up at her dad, the oracle of wisdom and all things holy in her eyes. “So I can say ‘ass’ if I mean ‘donkey?’ Like, ‘look at that big ass crossing theroad?’”

Ethan glares at me, and I laugh under mybreath.

“What I don’t understand,” Tori mulls aloud, drawing away the ire of my brother, “is how Silas had the authority to sell thathouse.”

We look to Joey, and she shakes her head. “Maybe Silas was on the deed. There’s no telling what he had Gran sign. At least this time he wasn’t forging her checks to cash her socialsecurity.”

“I’d like to give Silas a piece of my mind and maybe a foot up his ass.” Tori slaps a hand over her mouth and looks between the kids. “I mean donkey! Dang it, sorry, guys. I’m a badgirl.”

She has a mouth worse than mine, but it’s one of the reasons I like her so much. But Ethan doesn’t take issue with her like he did with my curse word. I’m close enough to hear him whisper, “Yeah, but you’remybadgirl.”

I hold back a gag.Barely.

When Cody lodges a cheesy noodle up his nose, I decide I’d rather deal with that than watch the ongoing foreplay between brother and future sister-in-law.

As I’m dislodging the offending pasta, Joey clears her throat. “Guys, can I ask a favor? I hate imposing, but I was wondering if I could stay here for a few days. I only found out about Silas selling the house this afternoon, and I’m too furious to track him down to stay with him. I need some time to cool off, since our great state of Texas takes things like murderseriously.”

My mother pipes up before the words are barely out of Joey’s mouth. “Certainly, dear. It’s noimposition.”

Joey smiles gratefully but then looks to Ethan and Tori. You know, since they’re the ones who live here. My mother technically lives with me, but she likes to hop between my house andEthan’s.

“Of course.” My brother doesn’t hesitate. “If you don’t mind squeezing in with Tori’sfamily.”

Cody tugs on my T-shirt and I lean towardhim.

“I haftapoop.”

Chuckling, I motion for him to go. “Thanks for the news alert, but I think you canmanage.”

His little lips twist in concern. “I can’t weach my booty towipe.”

Ah, the joys of being an uncle. But the kid is almost four, and I’m thinking we need to take this to the nextlevel.

I whisper, “How ’bout you go do your thing, and I’ll wait outside the door. If you need any help, I’ll lend ahand.”

Or maybe I’ll just ball up some toilet paper and nudge it in his direction because I’m really tired of wiping kids’ asses. And their noses and vomit too, if I’m beinghonest.

Nodding, he hops out of his chair, and we excuseourselves.

When he’s done doing his business, I make sure he washes his hands with soap this time. As we head back to the dining room, I’m feeling better aboutthings.

I’ll get a little space tonight and clear my head. Kick back with a beer and ESPN. Get a good night’s sleep. And maybe jerk it a few times before I see Joey again. Then I won’t have these crazy ideas messing with myhead.

I’m helping Cody climb into his seat again when my mom claps her hands. “Then it’s settled. Joey will stay with Logan so I can help Ethan with the kids and Tori can spend more time with her parents when they get here.” Then little Miss Beverly June Carter, matchmaker extraordinaire, winks at me. “Son, isn’t thisperfect?”

Internally I groan. Perfectlytorturous.

I’m scrambling to think of a reason why this won’t work when Patrick decides to get in on theaction.

“Joey can always stay with me. I have a bigbed.”

This time, four words crystallize in my head:Over my deadbody.

6

Joey

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