Page 44 of Breathless

See, this is why I can’t trust myself around him. I’m always misreading him when it comes to our relationship. I can read him like a book when it comes to his interests or emotions, but I can’t figure out what I mean to him or how he feels aboutme.

But I do know one thing for certain—Logan goes through women like my brother devours a bag ofOreos.

Fast.

Without muchdiscernment.

And with no remorse forgluttony.

If we do this, I know the outcome. I’ll have a big, fat broken heart, and he’ll be on to the next flavor of themonth.

“This is a bad idea,” I say to myself and start back for thecondo.

“Wait. Jojo. Come on.” He grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I hate that I hurtyou.”

I give him a tight smile and keep going. “It’s fine. We’regood.”

Behind me, I hear him swear under his breath, and I walkfaster.

How humiliating. I was thinking he was into me last fall, and I was wrong. Again. How many times am I going to be offbase?

“Joey, don’tgo.”

I don’t pause. What’s there to say? I’m tired of chasing after this boy. I’m not going to wear my heart on my sleeve for himanymore.

“What did I say? Why are youupset?”

When he jogs out in front of me to block my path, I skid to astop.

“What do youfeelfor me, Logan? Am I just your former friend’s kid sister? Am I your zany BFF with the crazy hair? Am I just a hookup this weekend because I’ll be going back to Florida soon?” I fling my arms, feeling like I’m losing my mind, but I’ve kept my feelings for him locked away for so long, the words spew out of me. “I mean, why now? I’ve known you my whole life, and you’ve never kissed me before. Why today? What’s different? How are we different now than, say,last Christmaswhen I thought we were moving toward something more than being friends? But we obviously weren’t if you were dealing with other girls and ‘femaledrama.’”

I’m out of breath from ranting, every muscle tense. Because if the past has taught me anything, it’s that I’m going to get hurt. Logan has that power. As much as I hate to admit it, he has always held my heart in the palm of his hand. Even though I ran away last winter. Ran as far as I could go. And I’m so scared he’s going to obliterateme.

Part of me hates how much I just divulged, but I’m so freaking tired of this. Either he tells me what I need to hear, or we hammer the nail in this coffin before my heart is irreparably damaged. If that means I have to make a fool of myself in the meanwhile, so beit.

I need the truth. Foronce.

He pulls me into his arms so fast, I nearly trip. “Of course you’re not a fucking hookup, Joey. We’re doing this now because I missed you like crazy when you were gone. I thought… I thought I had lost you, but you’re back. And I feel like I’m getting a second chance to do what I should’ve done a long timeago.”

When his lips sweep across mine, he groans and tightens his arms around me, promising to never take me forgranted.

Just like that, my heart squeezes in my chest, the muscle memory of being in love with him for so many years overpowering goodsense.

And I givein.

17

Logan

The condo isdark when Joey and I bust through the door, which I promptly pin her against as I kissher.

I don’t know what happened out there on the beach. I can’t begin to untangle my feelings for Jojo except I know they’re big andunwieldy.

I’m a fucking asshole. I see that now. I’ve taken Joey for granted and hurt her and there’s no way around how much I need to come clean and tell her what’s been going on, but right now, I need to touch her more than I need my nextbreath.

Her legs wrap around me when I take her tight little ass in my hands. “Fuck, you feelamazing.”

She smells like sunshine and flowers and that fruity lip balm sheloves.

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