Page 15 of Falling Stars

He’s not wrong. Last weekend was a shit show. There’snothing quite like getting booed by a stadium of pissed-off New Yorkers.

Annoyed, I run my hand through my hair.

No one ever tells you that you can get your dream job and still not know what the hell you’re doing.

My brother picks up the video call on the second ring. “Hey, Mav,” he says with a grin.

Rhett smiles a lot more these days. Thank God he ditched his ex-wife Amber. That woman was a snake. Paige is good for him. She’s sweet and loving, but she also calls Rhett on his shit. She’s just nice about it. I’ve never seen Rhett so whipped before. They might’ve started out as a business arrangement, but then he went and fell in love. I’m happy for them.

Growing up, I didn’t think it was possible for any of the men in my family to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

I set my iPad on the coffee table. “How’s my favorite niece doing?” Ella’s my only niece, but she stole my heart the minute she squeezed my finger.

Paige sits next to Rhett and holds up Ella, who’s almost five months old. “She’s doing great. Tell Uncle Mav hi, Ella.”

I smile at the screen. “Hi, baby girl. She’s getting big.”

My nephews Gabriel and Austin pile on their dad, and he laughs. Austin shouts, “But I’m bigger!”

“You are, dude. Show me the muscles,” I say. He pulls back his t-shirt to make a muscle. “Look at those big guns. What are y’all gonna be for Halloween?” I’m sure Paige has costumes ready for my brother’s little terrors since it’s a few weeks away.

They both scream, “Pirates!”

“Argh!” I squint outta one eye, and they giggle.

Gabe and Austin run off, and Paige waves bye, and then it’s just me and my big brother.

The older I get, the more I appreciate how much Rhett stepped up for me when I was a kid. My father was an abusiveasshole. When he died my junior year of college, I felt nothing but relief. But I now realize his bullshit brought me and my brothers closer, so I guess I can thank him for that.

Rhett leans forward. “How was training this week? Is your calf still sore? Are you getting enough rest?” That’s my big brother. He never beats around the bush.

“A little sore, but I should be good to go for our next game. Yes, I’m getting enough rest.”

He shakes his head. “Sure am proud of you, Mav. You’ve accomplished everything you set out to do.”

I squint at the screen. “Did you catch last weekend’s game? We got our asses kicked.”

“It was just an off day. Chicago has more seasoned players. Give it time.”

That’s just it. I don’t feel like I have time. Coach Heller has been known to trade rookies after their first year. “I miss Coach Santos. He was tough, but he had this Jedi vibe that got everyone on the same page. Here, I feel like we’re all hired mercenaries.”

Rhett nods slowly. “You knew the NFL was more intense than college. Don’t let that throw you off. Keep to your routine. Things will settle down.”

A car honks on the street, and my nerves wind tighter. New York is a beautiful city, but it’s loud. The traffic never stops. People are always on the move. I sleep with ear plugs, and I can still fucking hear the traffic below. “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss how quiet it is on the ranch.” I’d take our cattle and sheep over New York taxis any day.

In the background, the boys shriek, and my brother laughs. “Ain’t so quiet right now.” That kind of noise never bothered me. Rhett turns his attention back to me. “You eating right? Taking your vitamins? Drinking enough water?”

“Yes, Mom.” I don’t mention I was almost mugged two days ago. He’ll just worry.

“Smartass.”

I give my big bro shit, but he was more of a parent to me than my mother or piece-of-shit father. “Can I ask you something?” I scratch the back of my head. “Do you think I’m emotionally unavailable?”

His brows lift. “Is that something Kira told you?”

“Yeah, but she’s not the first girl to complain about this.” I can’t help it if I don’t want to snuggle after sex. I can barely stand her sleeping in the same bed with me. Pillow talk isn’t my thing. And the harder Kira tries, the more suffocated I feel.

“What do you think? Do you open up to her?”

---