Page 66 of Dirty Salvation

"No, not yet, but he'll be soon."

"I want to see them." she blurted, her voice stronger than it had been in the last minute.

Rider's gaze narrowed in on her. Was she crazy?

"What? Absolutely not, Zara."

******

Wires tore loose in Zara's head. Blood rushed through her ears making the white noise deafening. Barely-latched doors came open.

She ought to have known something ominous was about to happen since she'd seen the black sky tonight, so angry with full sinister clouds just looming up above. It was shaping up for a cold night and growing colder by the second from the way she shivered, though that had nothing to do with the weather. It took Zara an embarrassing amount of time to finally swallow back the emotion and speak. She wished she could say his kiss had fried her brain and that's why her fingers were shaking.

It had been a phenomenal kiss.

Out of this world kiss.

And now it had been pushed into the recess of her mind because she was shaking inside.

"I want to see them," she repeated. "You can't stop me, Rider. This is my decision. You're going to kill them, aren't you?" he didn't answer, but the tightness surrounding his jaw might as well have been confirmation. "Then I want to look them in the eye before you do. I deserve this. It was me they raped and beat and tormented. Me, Rider. It merits to look them in the face and tell them I hope they rot in hell."

Zara dreamed for months and years seeing every member of the Raging Rebels fall to a painful agonizing death one by one while she stood by and watched and did nothing to help them. She imagined on those worse days how they'd spontaneously catch fire while she drank a glass of water, or got hit repeatedly by a speeding bus that backed up and crushed them like mashed potatoes. She wanted them all to die.

Popping up from the metal chair, her nerves frying beneath her skin she felt a sense of peace and hatred all at once. This was all coming to an end finally.

Finally,she would have some closure.

"You will find Hades? you promise me?"

"I fuckin' promise that, baby. It's a long time comin' for him and now we dismantled his club he has nothing left, nowhere to hide."

Zara nodded, looking up into deep dark blue, her gaze unfathomable. He looked extremely rigid, calm, incredibly beautiful. And he was going to commit murder for her.

"I trust you to do that, Rider. So please understand when I say I need to do this for me, for my own sanity, so I don't have another day like that again."

"Jesus Christ. You think I'ma put you in the same room as thosecunts? you think I'm that kinda man, Zara? when it wasmewho saw you break apart the other night, I watched you disappear, you fuckin' shattered right in front of me! the answer is no. Fuckin' no. You have my word this shit will be over soon."

"IT WAS ME, RIDER! NOT YOU! NOT ANYONE ELSE, IT WAS ME!" Her sudden burst of anger vibrated her insides. Eyes blazing dumping all her fury and despair onto him in one fell swoop. "It doesn't even matter which men you have out there, they all fucking touched me, they all fucking tormented me, they all fuckinghurtme in ways I hope you can never imagine, Rider.Me! This was done to me. I want to look at them before they die and even if you're killing them for another reason, I don't care, I want them to see me and know it's because of what they did to me. Do you know what it's like to be passed around like you're a fucking toy, to be used so harshly blood runs down your thighs while fat ugly sweaty men just laugh and carry on? do you know how it feels to have abortions performed by someone who isn’t even a doctor and the pain afterwards, the vomiting where I thought I’d die from it? This was fucking done to me, Rider, I deserve to see my tormentors pay for it!"

Heavy inhales, Zara felt her head spin. Rider's face had closed down to resemble thunder, she knew she'd said too much the second she heard his vicious snarl filling the cabin, the noise echoing off every surface.

For a moment, she thought about reaching out, to touch him. She used to be such a tactile person once over, giving hugs regularly to those who needed it, now she hesitated and the moment passed them by when he snarled through clenched teeth.

"That doesn't convince me, if anything I wanna kill themharder, faster." darkness laced his voice.

Any other time Zara would have withdrawn away, felt fear. Her anger fueled her.

"This is club business, Zara. You are not club."

She felt the stab of it to the heart. A direct cold hit like he'd known the very thing to say that would affect her the most.

"No." she spoke quietly unwilling to let angry tears fall. "I'm not part of your club at all. Do what you want, Rider. You usually do, right? you're the boss, and everyone has to fall in line with you, fuck their opinions."

Coldly, she turned on her heel and left his office, closing the door quietly behind stumbling across the dark forecourt, her fast footsteps carrying her through the club, ignoring everyone.

Those men were here, perhaps not far, awaiting their fate and she couldn't have her last word.

It didn't matter if she knew Rider was doing the right thing, or what hethoughtwas right in defending her, because in that moment as her body propelled her forward, along the corridor leading to the room she stayed in, she felt as though she could hate him.

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