Page 127 of Filthy Love

“Hawk, he—”

“I would have killed him, Gia. My brother who I respect, and I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.”

Gahhhhh.

Her heartbeat did a crazy skip. He wasn’t touching her, not even standing as close as she wanted him to, but she felt his grip on her nonetheless.

“We’re friends. He and I. That’s it.”

“I didn’t like him touching you. Didn’t fucking like not being able to touch you.”

“You can always touch me. I didn’t say you couldn’t.”

He dipped his head and scratched fingers roughly through his hair as if the thought of what he needed was paining him. Gia frowned and went to step forward, but he warded her off. “Don’t. Don’t fucking come near me, Gia. I’m not stable right now, I can feel my fucking skin humming, I want to fucking claw it off. I wanted to hurt him, you fucking get that? For touching you, for sitting so fucking close to you.”

“Hawk. Let’s just talk about—”

A great big snarl came out of his whited out thinned lips and Gia’s heart stopped beating. She didn’t know where his mood flip had come from, but she wasn’t surprised by it.

With Hawk it was always like waiting for the other shoe to fall.

“No. Just get the hell outta here before I do something you’ll hate me for, Gia.”

That same heart restarted and sunk.

They were one step forward and ten back yet again.

She sighed and held her tongue.

Held it until she couldn’t keep her own words in any longer. She didn’t care they were getting looks from the men in the shop, or if they overheard a word she said, she was past caring if their relationship spilled over into Hawk’s world before he was ready.

“You can have feelings without blowing up, Hawk. You were jealous of another man. A man who is only a friend.”

“Like we’re friends? Is that how friendly you are with him?” He sneered.

“Right. Because I let every man into my bed?” She couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice. He chose his bullets well. Gia turned on her heel and avoided the hand he tried to grab her with. “I love you, Hawk. But fuck you for saying that. Believe it if you want, I don’t really care right now if you do. But you need to make a decision and soon.”

With that she climbed into her car and left him there while she tended to her gaping heart wound for the rest of the day.

******

I love you, Gia. I'll always love you more, every fucking day. He watched her leave and felt the loss of her instantly. Fuck.Fucking hell.He was a moron. A colossal fucking prick.

He wanted to punch something. He looked around for a prospect and seriously thought about it. Those little shitheads were desperate for a patch they’d stand still while he railed on their faces for a while.

He pounded feet back inside the clubhouse, not knowing his direction but he needed something before his fucking skin exploded.

“Only you, king dickhead, would self-sabotage having the woman you’ve dirtily panted over for years when you’re offered a chance at her.” Scoffed Lawless in his condescending tone that had Hawk fisting his two hands laying like clumps of wood at his side. A coin rolled over Lawless’ knuckles in formation as he slouched back in a tall backed chair, two legs off the floor.

Black pants.

Black under-shirt and thick boots.

He had emo bitch down, all he was missing was the eyeliner and mood rings.

“Don’t bait me right now.” Hawk warned. He sounded like he’d gargled nails that morning. What the fuck did Lawless know anyway? He clacked on his little computers and petted his cats. He knew nothing of what the fuck was inside of Hawk’s head or what he wanted.

Fuck him.

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