Page 42 of Filthy Love

“This was supposed to be my big adventure, Hawk. The first thing I did for me, moving across country, to do something I wanted to do, not because it was expected of me or in my boring ten-year plan. And now I’m doing it to run away because some mad idiots want to have something over my brother? It’s bullshit.”

Those dancing tears on her lashes began to fall and before Gia could brush them away Hawk’s thumbs were there doing the job. He bent over her, rested their foreheads. “Don’t cry, little bit. Beautiful things shouldn’t cry. Nothing is gonna happen, I swear it on my life. The only asshole to walk through your front door will be me.”

He managed to get a laugh out of her. “How do you say something so sweet yet blow hot and cold with me, Hawk?”

He sighed heftily. Because he was a moron in love. “Little bit…”

“I wish you’d stop calling me that. It makes me want things you won’t give.”

One last brush under her eyes, he stepped out of space. “I’ll get you some packing boxes, then I’ll grab my stuff from the club.”

He was moving in with Gia for the duration.

God help him.

******

“I want to make something crystal clear if you're going to live in my house this week,” every time he pulled away from her she felt it in her heart. He left behind a fresh scar and soon Gia's heart would be coated in them.

Year after year of dismissal and rejection and she kept coming back for more. She was a literal failure to her job when she advised the love troubled. If she were counseling herself, knowing the entire miserable situation of never reaching step one with Hawk she'd tell herself to give up, to find a love truly worth her while, a love that was returned.

Knowing her brother wanted her to have a babysitter, oh, she was spitting mad over it. She was being dragged into his MC life when all she'd ever done was keep on the fringes.

It stung less to know that babysitter was Hawk, she'd been thrilled.

Then realization set in. Hawk in her house for a week. With the way she felt.

He might kiss her at odd times, that kiss in the hallway was one of relief, she was sure of it. But it didn't stop her hoping for more.

“I'm attracted to you, Colton.”

That look right there on his face, swirling in his pale eyes was what always gave her a shred of hope. It was pure heat. His nostrils flared while his fists bunched.

He wanted her. He couldn't deny that. And yet he did. Again, and again.

“If you're in my house, you need to be aware of that. You blow hot and cold continuously and it's confusing.” A pause. “Attachment hurts, Hawk. When it's not returned, it's the worse feeling. I was attached to you the moment I laid eyes on you. As though I was waiting and there you were.”

He looked at her solemnly. Could he understand? Did he feel emotions like she did? She hated not being able to easily read him. His scowl could translate to pissed off or happiness.

“You were a baby.”

She'd expected that. “My age was no reflection on my feelings. I had them for you.”

Something twisted on his face and she felt a flicker of...hope?

“Had?”

His eyes were moonlight shining—no, they glowed. Gia had been in his company for all of two minutes while her brother dropped off her school bag. Just two short minutes of staring at the nasty scowl etched on his chiseled face and that was all it had taken. Fifteen-year-old Gia was in love. Something in that second changed and realigned her organs to make way for the fresh, consuming young feelings she was experiencing.

Two minutes and she was never the same again.

It was two more years of unrequited love before Hawksawher.

“Have.” Her throat tight. “I have feelings for you. My attachment didn't go away, and I don't know what to do about it because as hard as I push, you're pushing back, and I feel like I'm getting nowhere. That hurts me.”

“I don't want to hurt you.”

“I know that, Hawk. Maybe I just need to start listening to you. You've told me plainly enough, brutally so and I didn't hear. You don't want me in the same way.”

---