Page 69 of Filthy Love

“Hawk? Is this okay, or should I move?”

As his answer, his fingers creeped to her thighs and held.

She could have wept, she really could. Any forward step with him was a plus.

If she was right about his condition then he would struggle with people in his personal space, especially touch and understanding their emotions, even regulating his own. So, for him to sit and allow her the freedom to climb on his lap was a huge success.

It was like she could see the cogs turning in his brain trying to understand what she was doing.

From all his self-criticism it still wouldn’t occur to him she was attracted to him.

Though she ached to touch his face, to cuddle and love on him, her seventeen-year-old self was the devil on her shoulder telling her to pounce their man. She kept her hands at her side.

Small steps.

Some women loved chocolate. Gia loved a sociopath. (she also loved chocolate) and she loved him fiercely. Through dark days of rejection. Through months of not talking to him. She loved him. As much as that love had hurt her it was still the most real thing she’d ever felt for a man. Oh, she’d tried many times. Once in her early twenties she’d methodically went on dates every single day for two months to get over her stupid crush, to force her emotions to a better cause.

And every time she’d failed because at the end of the night she was comparing them to Hawk.

Unrequited love was a pain not many women spoke about.

And then Hawk came back into her life.

And Gia was back to full bloom of wanting everything from him.

“Nothing to say about what I want?”

When he looked down at her mouth Gia almost passed out. He had no idea what those eyes of his could make her feel.

He might not be a man of many words, but his eyes spoke volumes.

They whispered dirty, beautiful things and Gia was an expert in listening to them.

“That’s not gonna happen.” His fingers tightened on her hipbones causing a moan to trap in her throat.

“Why not? You must want something for yourself. I don’t believe you’re sexually altruistic, Hawk.”

His forehead screwed up.

He plucked her from his lap, sitting her on the couch and he popped up to his soaring height. Sighing, Gia knew one of his disappearing acts were imminent. If not for his babysitting duties she doubted he’d be here at all.

“Leave it, Gia.”

“No. I want to talk about it. I thought you were being generous at first. I got caught up in how good you made me feel.” Every stern line on his beautiful face tightened.

He wasn’t unaffected. Far from it if his body was a gauge. Why was this an issue? Didn’t all men want sex over everything? She’d heard the bikers joking around years ago of Hawk’s conquests. They ran into triple numbers if rumors believed. Yeah, that small fact tortured her ever since. So, he liked sex. It just appeared not with her…

Chin up, eyes blazing she met his stare head on. No longer intimidated by the harsh biker. Not when he’d shown how he felt. “You want me,” she stated. He remained silent. A tick working his strong jaw. She was somehow comforted by it, she was hitting the right marks.

“I won’t have you,” he replied sharply. “It’s for your own sake.”

He looked ready to jump through the window.

Gia took a second to reorganize her thoughts.

“You want me.” She repeated, “even now, I see your body wants me.” She went on before he could deny that too. “You’re possessive over me, you protect me, you called me your old lady to that Russian. That means something, Hawk.”

His blond head hanging low, hands on his slim hips, he could be mistaken for a statue making himself at home in the middle of her living room with the TV turned to mute and her sweet pea candle burning in the background.

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