Page 93 of Filthy Love

“Colton?”

“Hm?”

She untucked her hand from underneath her and drifted fingers against the side of his cheek.

Hawk almost came.

“Why do you call yourself a monster?”

“That’s what I am.”

“But why? Did something happen to make you think that way?”

When he couldn’t reply. For one, her fingers were driving his cock mad, this lying on top of him had been a piss poor idea hadn’t it? And for two, if he explained why he was a monster, tell her all the things he’d done to stay alive, she’d run a mile. She wouldn’t be curled on top of his chest content like a baby cat to have his hand stroking the knobs of her spine.

Gia tugged the short hairs of his beard. “If you cracked open a book, or even tapped into google, you’d see you have it all wrong. The very definition of a monster is;a large, ugly, and frightening imaginary creature. While you are large, you’re far from ugly, I’m not frightened of you and you’re not imaginary, if you were, we’d be doing a helluva lot more kissing than we do.”

Somewhere in the middle of that his lungs stopped working.

How was it this small little bit of a thing was the only person to ever affect him in ways even he didn’t comprehend past the base level emotion of want?

If he were normal he’d have all the answers.

He’d be able to fucking recognize emotions if nothing else.

Moving her gently to the side so she landed against the back of the couch he swung his legs to the floor and rose. Edgy bones. Nervous fingers grabbed at his hair. He faced Gia after a minute with his version of the truth stinging his skull.

She wanted to know how he was a monster?

His quiet rumbled voice box opened. “You want full disclosure, Gia? Here it is that makes me a monster, see the depraved prick I really am. When I couldn't stand myself any longer, when it was hard to concentrate, to fucking breathe without wanting todo younastily, until all I could taste was that one kiss, Gia. You remember how I fucking crushed your seventeen-year-old lips. That kiss. I'd tell Rider I needed to get away, he thought I was going to find some hot bitch to screw, or worse, to kill something. I rode all through the night to Austin and I would stand for days, nights, outside your building, watching you going inside, coming out to go to the coffee shop, I'd follow you home and stand outside watching your lights pop on and off. I'd stand there until I could breathe again, Gia, until the noise in my head retreated into the back. You had a monster stalker and never knew it.”

“Oh, god, Colton.” Her baby blue eyes dark and turbulently stormy. “How—how often did you do that?”

“Four, five times a year. For ten years, give or take.”

Maybe now she’d understand he was a sick monster and she needed to kick him out.

“Oh, god, Colton.” Her voice broke.

He waited for her, tethered to the wood flooring, his guts hanging out it seemed, he was exposed to the woman he loved just waiting for her to finally realize what kind of man he was. All wrong for her.

His head hung low on his neck.

“Why didn’t you ever come in?” His eyes flipped up so fast the room spun. Surprise stabbed him. She was constantly surprising him. “I would have always welcomed you in, Colton. Always. God. All this damn time wasted.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“Sexual frustration is not my friend even if he does live with me.” - Gia

Hawk made his escape.

After his bombshell he said he’d grab food.

Coward! Gia paced around her mostly empty living room muttering in half Greek. The tongue her Yaya would only speak when she was still alive. Her grandmother had been a fiery character and now her dad would say Gia inherited that temper.

But, oh, she was waiting for that biker tease when he got back.

She was practically shaking underneath her skin when he dumped the paper sack full of good smelling whatever-it-was he’d bought onto the counter and eyed her speculatively.

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