“You didn’t live with the guy?”
Aoife shook her head. “No, he stayed in town for business I think. I didn’t see him much.”
With a deep exhale, Danny stayed silent. Then muttered almost with a growl to his tone. A noise that had her head turning to look at him poised over by the sink. “What kind of relationship is that, Aoife? It sounds more like an arrangement than anything else.”
There was still so much he didn’t know. And it was the fear of him knowing and throwing her away before she could explain properly that kept her tight lipped for now.
It wasn’t a lie, she justified to herself.
“Whatever it was, is over now, Danny. I’m glad to be here,” she added on quietly.
“You’re on the run with a baby.”
“Still glad to see you.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me you were here in the states … in the same place I was? Was that even a coincidence?”
Oh, the biggie. He didn’t hold back.
“I applied for a job about a year ago as a nanny in Chicago. There was nothing left for me in Galway.”
“I bet your parents weren’t happy.”
He knew that answer as well as she did.
She snorted and rolled a shoulder. “Da hated losing his meal ticket, but there was nothing there for me,” she stressed looking directly at him.
Did he understand what she was saying?
He inhaled fast and held it. His nostrils flared and for a second she thought he did, she hoped he saw everything she wasn’t saying because her heart hurt so much, she didn’t know how long she could keep going.
“Why did you need the job .. I thought your husband was wealthy? Last I heard he owned several casinos.”
“He did. I wasn’t in his will. His grown-up kids got every penny and I was just happy he was dead, as wicked as that sounds, so I could be free. That’s all I wanted, so it was.”
He inhaled again, and she wondered was he like this now or did she just exasperate him?
Guilt chewed her up.
“You wanted freedom…That wasn’t the story I was told.”
The need to run across the space and press against his chest until she could feel his thumping heart under her ear was strong. She’d taken so many wrong turns in her life and he’d only ever been the right way and with every decision she took herself further away from the beating of her soul. She needed a real reminder of what brought her to this point.
Danny was always her anchor and though they were feet apart, she felt more alone than ever.
“I need to hear it all, Aoife.”
“I know this brings trouble to you too. I shouldn’t even be here. You’re a pastor now … It doesn’t look good me being here.”
“What looks right is the least of our worries. For now it’s no one’s business. I’m not going to be parading you through Sunday service.”
She knew he said it as part of her protection, but it stung in a place that hadn’t beat properly forever. It stung because to her begging ears he sounded ashamed of her. Ashamed he knew someone like her, who would get themselves into this kind of dangerous mess.
She recognized right away Danny was different now.
A grown-ass man as they say in this part of the world, and so responsible.
A respected member of his community.