Page 106 of Manhattan Secret

I need him back.

I need my boy back.

Wrong—terrible mistakes happen.

And they only stay terrible wrong mistakes if you don’t do something about them.

Oh my god, about fucking time.My friends declared on yet another pity party three-way call when I lay out what I’ve decided.Get the stud back and ride him stupid.I love my friends never-ending support.

Self-doubt and basing decisions off of how scared I am stops right now.

Scared means I’m alone.

Scared means I don’t take risks on things that matter.Love matters.

God, how am I only realizing it now?

There were no doubts between Lachlan and I, until I made it so.

Who in their right—sanemind gets scared of being happy with a man who showed me every day that I was wanted? I damn well should have been gloating how badass I am for catching the biggest, most arrogant fish in Manhattan, and I did that just by sitting my princess self on a bar stool.

I didn’t have to chase Lachlan; he came to me.

And I let him go.

He showed me all along there was nothing to worry about and I just didn’t see it until it was too late.

That’s going down as my worst mistake ever.

The truth is; we control very little in this life.

Love happens. It shouldn’t be coordinated. It has to live free and wild to grow.

Our lives unfold a certain way for reasons that aren’t always apparent to us until the time is right. I could never have prepared myself for Lachlan. He’s a force of nature, that’s certain. His brain is huge, a tiny bit devious, but his heart is so full and so glorious, I drown time and again.

It was inevitable that I would love Lachlan Fierro.

Time is irrelevant.

Our ages don’t matter.

I just hope and pray I’m not too late to right a wrong and get my heart back.

As any coward who’s trying to be a superhero does, I try texting him first and get no reply.

This tactic goes on for many days and with each unanswered message, I start to doubt myself, habits are hard to break but I soldier on, making my plans.

I’m not going to just dip my toes in this thing, nope… I’m jumping in both feet, soaking myself to the chin and risk drowning.

I’m so scared but excited too.

It turns out, when I have nothing left to lose, my cowardice disappears.

I enter phase two of my plan when I drive over to the nicest part of Manhattan, near the Hudson river, to an exclusively private estate.

I press the electronic buzzer at the opulent wrought iron gate, that guards the huge mansion up the winding driveway.

A few seconds after the camera scans my face, the screen lit up blue and I’m buzzed through.

---