Page 108 of Manhattan Secret

If I can’t fight for my relationship, to earn Lachlan’s love back, I have no right to him at all.

I lost him because I was afraid.

Afraid to trust he loved me long-distance without having his head turned.

Afraid I wouldn’t be enough.

Afraid I was just a novelty to him, that he didn’t know love and I’d get my heart broken in the worst possibly way.

Until I hurt him.

“I love your son,” I say again. “My own fears and insecurities made me ruin it before he left for college. I sent him away thinking I didn’t love him because I was scared. Facing my fear means being honest with you now before I try to fix it.”

“A little late to be honest now, don’t you think? What’s to stop me from reporting you to the school board?”

“There’s nothing stopping you. But I’ve already issued my resignation. I realized my mistake the moment Lachlan left. Only finishing out my contractual semester means I’m still here.”

I can’t tell if she’s really this calm or if she’s gearing up for an attack.

“I met him before I knew who he was. The night before I started at Richmond. It didn’t even enter my head that he might be student age.”

She gives silence, so I continue.

“It’s not something I would have ever pursued once I knew who he was, no matter what my instant feelings were, and they were strong.Arestrong.”

More assessing humming. She’s silent—watching me. And the more nervous I grow under the scrutiny, the more I talk. “You know, Lachlan, how hard it is to say no to him.”

“Are you blaming my son?”

“God, no. I take full responsibility for my actions and lack of control.” The moment I say it, I realize it’s only half right. Sure, I own my guilt. I’ve come to terms with my heart ruling my head. I’m good with it now. But Lachlan chased me down like a dog does a bone. If I take all the blame it means I’m saying he didn’t know what he was doing. Oh, my arrogant blue-eyed boy knew alright. He was more in that relationship than I was.

“Actually, yeah, I am. Your son, Mrs. Fierro is a damn predator. And I mean that with all the love I feel for him. He wanted me, wanted a relationship and he pursued me with a steel determination to win. I should have rejected any advances. I’m culpable, all the blame is on me for that, but we were two adults drawn to each other for incomprehensible reasons and neither of us said no.”

I don’t know what I said to take some of the coldness from Sena, because when she poses her next question, she sounds more incredulous than anything else. “He actually wanted a relationship—dating?”

“Yeah, it surprised me too. I thought he was like any guy, just wanting to have some fun. He was the one who claimed me as his girlfriend, almost instantly.”

Her facial feature is one I can’t read, but her voice is without censor as she says. “He mentioned on his first day of school that he’d met a girl he liked. We assumed it was his usual type he doesn’t spend more than a few days dating.”

To wet my parched tongue, I have a sip of the delicious sweet tea. “I feel horrible for how it happened, if you want to punch me, you can. Never in a million years did I think I’d find my soulmate in the class I teach. Lachlan literally took the wind out of my sails.”

“And this is, what? You want forgiveness for seducing my son?”

I think I do.

“For breaking your teacher oath?” Direct hit.

She’s right.

I’m a terrible, moral-less person, but I won’t apologize for loving him.Never.

“No. I did a wrong thing, but I don’t regret meeting him, even in the wrong place.”

“How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-seven in February.”

“I’m unsure why you’re here now, if it’s not to absolve yourself from the guilt you don’t feel.”

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