Page 97 of Manhattan Secret

Only this Lachie hasn’t tackled me to the bed or wrenched my legs apart or told me how hungry he’s been all day to eat me out.

That’s the Lachie I know.

This quieter version is freaking me out and breaking my heart all at the same time.

He’s in my bed when I come out, only the low light of the lamp on his side is bouncing shadows around the room. Propped against the headboard, one hand behind his head and the comforter hanging around his waist, he pulls my side back when he sees me.

There’s no point in acting shy, not when I slide into bed and across the mattress to cuddle into his ribs. His arm comes around me and he turns out the light, plummeting my bedroom into darkness.

“Missed you today, mouse.” He says low. His lips tracing my hairline.

I feel all the emotions all at once pouring over my head, because god help me, I missed him every second of the day and nearly called him a million times to say I was sorry, and I was being a scared mousy coward.

“Lachlan..”

He sighs, a great gust that could have blown down a tower block.

“I’m starting to hate hearing my name said like that.”

I wince, tears prick the back of my eyes. My hand twitches on his belly. I’m hurting him, and I’d break my own bones before I deliberately hurt him.

I kiss his shoulder. “I was only going to say I missed you back.”

Silence swallows us whole while I lay in the arms of the man I’ll love for the rest of my life. His indelible stain on my soul is forever. Tattooed in ink.

“I know, okay. I know what you’ve decided, Laney. Knew all day, I felt that shit in the very bottom of my gut while I tried to act like myself with my family so they could say bye to me.I felt it.” Tears do come now. They come silent and fast, tracking down my face, landing on his chest. “Knew the second I walked in and looked at you.” No longer avoiding the elephant in the room. It creeps into bed with us. I can’t claim the words back from earlier, even if I want to.

I desperately want this to be different.

“I will lose my shit if you say my name right now.” He inhales, arms tightening around me. “I know, Laney. Just … let me hold you, okay? I need that.”

I can only nod against his shoulder, my heart splintering down the middle, rivers of tears falling silently.

Climbing half on top of him, I bury my face in the dip of his neck, all my limbs vining around Lachie, unable to let go.

Thank you.I want to tell him.

Thank you for the best time of my life.

Thank you for showing me what it’s really like to live.

To reallyfeelemotions that aren’t muted in indifference and boredom.

Thank you for all the colors I taste when I’m around you.

Thank you for teaching me to expect the unexpected and to let the unexpected carry me away.

Thank you for being you, Lachie. The most perfect human I am lucky to have crossed paths with.

“Don’t cry, mouse.” He issues softly, roaming his fingers up and down my back.

And then. “Goddamn, this isn’t right. I lov—”

Shoving my hand over his mouth, I violently shake my head and he sighs against my palm. “Don’t, Lachie. I can’t hear that.”

He lets me have silence.

“I swear I better see you on the news one day being Mister Bigshot FBI man who’s stopped some international crime ring single-handedly.” I try for humor, but it just comes out as a strangled sob, as I continue to leak on his shoulder.

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