Page 17 of Manhattan Heart

She might punch me in the face though.

I have one priority in life and it’s not making millions as it once was.

I have all the money I could ever want,too much,India claims. I’m business driven but it’s my girl who is the most important part of my life.

My whole life.

It’s that very reason I’m reluctant to bring any shift in our happy bubble.

We both work hard. We play hard together.

That woman is my equal in every aspect of life.

She thrills me, and intrigues me.

I’ve loved peeling back India’s layers.

She’s vulnerable is my mean girl and I love the place we’ve gotten to where she trusts me with all her sad, unsure moments.

She will grieve for her brother for the rest of her life.

She’ll always worry about her mom becoming manic depressive again.

She’ll forever be a woman who puts everyone else before her own needs.

But what’s different in India’s life is she now has me who makes sureshe’s first. In everything.

It’s going to kill me to see the happiness drop from her eyes.

She’ll go intofix itmode and when she can’t, she’ll get angry and stressed.

Dropping the email for a moment, I switch to an app I use frequently and while Joe drives me, I carefully choose somejust becauseflowers to send to India’s office with a note to let her know I’m thinking about her.

Once I electronically pay, I get back to work.

Tonight, I tell myself.

I have to tell her tonight so she has time to process.

I feel isolated, and that’s not an emotion I’m used to. Not even when I was single did I feel this crushing blow to my chest.

I’ve been able to fix anything that came along. This sensation of not having the answers myself, having to rely on someone else… is not a good feeling.

It’s easy to feel that way when the problem is me.

She’s going to somehow take on the blame herself. I know it and it’s another reason I’ve been reluctant to confess.

My wife is a worrier to the max.

If she can carry the burdens, she will.

It drives me fucking crazy and when she does that even now, though she’s learning not to, I have to take a step back and remember how far she’s come.

My India cares and she cares to the point ithurtsher.

Tonight, I promise. It has to be tonight.

Several hours later, during a meeting with my General Manager and PA, letting them know where I’ll be for the next few weeks, I get India’s text and my mouth splits with a smile.

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