Page 24 of Single Girl Rules: Auctioned

“No!”

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say.”

“Am I correct that Ash refuses to agree?” called the bananaking.

“You are. But technically she already did. Those releaseforms we signed last weekend for the banana party cover anything you film untilnext Friday.”

“What?” gasped Ash. “No! Don’t tell him that!”

“Shit, you’re right,” said the banana king. “Okay, you have adeal. And since I’m such a nice guy, I’ll even give you a ten second head start.”

“Aw, thanks!” I scooted over to my maid cart and grabbed aduffel bag. Then I pulled out three assault rifles.

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” called the banana king.

I tossed one to Ash.

“Ah!” she screamed. “Don’t give that to me! I’m too clumsyfor guns.”

“It easy,” said Slavanka. She grabbed the gun from Ash,disengaged the safety, and checked the chamber. Then she handed it back to Ash.“Point at bad man and fire. It fun.”

She grabbed another rifle from me and did the same routine.

“I can’t do this,” said Ash.

“That’s fine,” I said. “You’re gonna look so hot getting auctionedon that livestream tonight.”

Ash grabbed a bottle of banana juice and downed the entirething. “Time to die, fuckers!”

Just as the banana king reached one on the count, Ash jumpedup on the bar and started shooting. Slavanka also started shooting, but from amuch more tactically sound position.

Ash jumped back down. In the process, she managed to losecontrol of her gun, juggle it, and chuck it on the ground.

“That was awesome!” she yelled. “We just took down all ofthem!”

“For real?” I asked.

“Yes! Wait a second.” Ash’s eyes got huge. “Did I just kill sevenmen?”

“I shoot six,” said Slavanka.

“Oh God. I’m a murderer!”

“Girl, chill. They’ll be fine.”

“How?! I didn’t just graze them. I was aiming right for theirlivers.”

“Livers? Why? Actually, it doesn’t matter. Those weren’tbullets. They were darts.”

“Tranquilizers?” asked Ash.

“Not quite…”

“Dude, what the hell?” yelled one of the guards. “Why are youtenting your pants right now? Are you one of those freaks who gets hard whenyou’re in danger?”

“Fuck off,” said another guard. “Did you see the tits on thatginger? And anyway, you’re hard too.”

“Huh?” said the first. Or at least, I thought it was thefirst. They all had voice modulators that made it hard to tell who was talking.“Wait, what the hell?”

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