Page 11 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

“Huh,” said Ash, staring at her hand in shock. “I guess my glovejust slipped off. That was a close call though, right?” She let out a sigh and wentto take a sip of her hot chocolate. But then she frowned and pulled the lid off.“Is there any more of this?”

Teddybear tossed her another.

Ash gulped it down and lay back in the snow.

“Have I told you guys how much I love you?” she said to noone in particular.

“I love you too,” said Rosalie, lying down next to her.

“And I really love snow.” She took a big handful of it andstuffed it into her mouth. And then she popped up and ran over to Teddybear’ssnowmobile. “How cool is this snowmobile? It’s so sleek and shiny. I think Iwanna buy one for myself. How much do they cost?”

“Uh…I think this one was like twenty thousand, but…”

“Oh!” yelled Ash, cutting him off. “More hot chocolate!” Shegrabbed another thermos out of the snowmobile and started double fisting them. “Thesethermoses are so thick,” she said in complete awe. And then she paused. “Why areyou all looking at me like that?”

“Because you’re treating those thermoses like dicks,” saidRosalie with a laugh.

“I am not! If these were dicks I’d be sucking them so hard.”

“Wow,” said Rosalie. “Did you finally let your inner slut outnow that you’re in college?”

Ash gave her a confused look. “No. Why would you think that?”

“Uh…because you just said you’d suck those thermoses so hardif they were dicks.”

“I said that? Out loud?” Ash started to turn bright red. And thenshe slowly ducked behind the snowmobile.

“What’s going on with Ash?” whispered Rosalie to me.

“No idea. I’ve only seen her act like this when…”Wait asecond.I took a sip of hot chocolate to confirm my suspicions.Yup.Teddybear had done just as I’d requested and made my favorite hot chocolate. Pipinghot milk, super dark cocoa, tons of little marshmallows… And a generous splashof the special ingredient. “The hot chocolate is spiked with banana juice. Itmakes her super paranoid. And then horny AF.”

“Oooh!” said Ash.

I jumped. I didn’t realize she’d snuck up behind us.

“Who’s horny AF? Tell me everything.” She plopped down nextto us and took another gulp of hot chocolate.

“You are.”

“Shhhhh!” she hissed. “Santa might hear.” She glanced aroundlike that was a very real possibility. “I don’t want to end up on the naughtylist.”

“Why not?” I asked. “Don’t you know what Santa does to girlson his naughty list?”

“No. What does he do? Does he fuck them?! Or does he send hiselves to punish them? Do you think his elves have big dicks? What if theirdicks were as thick as these thermoses. I wonder if they’d even fit in mymouth.” She brought one of her thermoses to her lips and tried to suck it likea cock.

“Santa’s elves definitely have small dicks,” said Kyle. “Butyou know who doesn’t? Me. Which is why my Christmas wish just came true.”

“And what was your Christmas wish?” I asked.

“That Pizza Slut would invite me back for thirds. Gotta go!” Hegathered up his stolen fast-food trays and disappeared into the snowy night.

“Wait,” said Ash. “You guys! I forgot to mail Santa a listthis year! Did you remember?”

“Nope,” I said.

“Me neither,” agreed Rosalie.

Ash shook her head. “This is a disaster. Teddybear! Ghostie!”she yelled. “Take us back to our dorm immediately! We have urgent Christmasbusiness to attend to!”

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