Page 12 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

They brought the snowmobiles over and took us back to ourdorm.

Ash searched all her drawers until she found some green gelpens and a stack of papers. They looked like something a first grader would bringhome a few weeks before Christmas. DEAR SANTA was written in huge bubbleletters at the top of the page. And next to it was an adorable little cartoonof an elf waving.

“Take your time filling them out, but don’t taketoomuch time,” said Ash as she handed us each a sheet. “We need to get these inthe mail ASAP if they’re gonna get to the North Pole on time.”

I hopped up on my bed and started filling in the blanks.

DEAR SANTA,

My name isChastity Morgan.

I am19years old.

This year I have been:

There were two boxes. One for naughty and one for nice.Hmmmm…I mean, I was definitely naughty in the bedroom. But I was also a perfect angel.So I checked both and went to the next line.

For Christmas I would like:

There were five lines. So I guessed that meant I got five Christmaswishes:

1. A huge cock for my bestie

2. For Daddy to survive the impending Christmas morningmassacre

3. A huge cock for myself

4. More cock

5. Even more cock

Under the list it said, “Thank you, Santa!” and then had a spotto fill in who it was from. Which felt a little redundant, given that I’dalready written my name on the first line. But who was I to question the layoutof this list? Ash was the expert on everything Christmas related. Maybe Santa’selves got easily distracted by their giant cocks so they needed your name on theretwice or something.

“Done,” I said.

“Me too,” said Ash.

“Me three,” said Rosalie.

“What’d you guys wish for?” I asked.

Ash glanced down at her list. “Nothing.”

“But you just said you were done.”

She shrugged. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

“You’re lying,” said Rosalie and snatched her list from her. Herjaw dropped when she read it. “Oh my God, Ash! You seriously just wrote cockfive times?”

“Yeah. You know, cock. Cocks. Chickens. I want a whole flockof them.”

“Girl, you don’t have to be embarrassed around us,” I said. “We’renot going to judge you. I made the same wishes. Well, almost. My first wish wasfor you to get cock. And my second wish was for Daddy to survive the Christmasmorning massacre. But my other three wishes were all for cock.”

“Did you just say Christmas morning massacre?” asked Ash.

“Yeah,” I said. “Daddy called while I was blowing one of thecarolers and told me that he’s worried Crazy Isabella is gonna try to take outsome of the families at this year’s Christmas retreat.”

“Including your dad?”

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