Page 18 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

“What kind of weird tiny orgy planes do you usually travel on?”I stretched my legs out as far as they would go and I still had about two feetof cushion left.

“Coach,” said Ash.

“That sounds truly awful. Anyway, I’m glad you slept well. Becausewe have a big night ahead of us.”

“Night? What about the day? You said we left in the wee hoursof the morning for an eight-hour flight. Does the sun set at like 11 am inGermany?”

“Stalin almost make sun set on Germaniya permanently,” saidSlavanka.

“Girl, it’s already 3 pm here,” I said.

“Oh. Right. The time diff…” She stopped mid-sentence when Iopened the blinds to show her the sun starting to set over the snow-coveredBavarian Alps. “Holy shit. I’ve never seen mountains before. They’re beautiful.”

Never seen mountains?Ash was hardly living before shemet me. “Just wait until you see the men.” I winked at her.

“Eh, I’m more excited about the mountains.”

“That’s because you haven’t seen the men yet.”And becauseall that banana juice wore off.I hit the flight attendant button and Esmeappeared. Just because I needed to focus on the plan to save my daddy, it didn’tmean I couldn’t also still get Ash to lose her virginity.

“Yes?” Esme asked.

“Three glasses of banana juice,” I said.

“No time,” said Ghostie, walking back from the cockpit. “Ijust got confirmation that the meeting of the families is going to be at thebeer hall at sunset. Which is in…” He checked his phone. “…Less than 90 minutes.Your skis, ski suits, and bats will be waiting on the tarmac. So go ahead andget changed into whatever you’re wearing underneath and get ready to ski downto the resort.”

“Wait,” said Ash. “We’re gonna have to ski down to theresort? I kind of assumed a limo would take us there or something?”

“Limos can’t go down ski slopes. Only snowmobiles. And I don’twant to risk getting on one of those. Isabella could have gotten word of our arrivaland planted a car bomb.”

“Okay. But shouldn’t the airstrip be next to the resort?”

“Not here. The only piece of flat land they could find longenough for an airstrip was on a little plateau near the top of the mountain.” Ipointed out the window at the resort in the distance. “There’s the main lodgingat the bottom of the valley.” I traced my finger up some ski slopes until I waspointing at another building. “That big glass building is the atrium. They doweddings and stuff there. And the soldiers have special lodging there.” I tracedmy finger even higher up the mountain to a little snow-covered plateau withlots of blinking red lights. “And that’s the airstrip.”

“Why the hell is it all the way up there?” asked Ash.

“We’ve been over this. That was the only spot they could findthat was flat and long enough for an airstrip.”

“Are you sure it’s long enough?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, it’s not quite up to code. But it’sperfectly safe as long as the pilot doesn’t overshoot the landing.”

“Ice on runway more exciting,” said Slavanka.

“It’s usually not a big deal.”

“Usually?!” asked Ash. She looked like she was seconds awayfrom a total freak-out. “I need to get off this plane!”

“Should I grab a parachute?” asked Ghostie.

“What?! No!”

I laughed. “Ghostie is just being silly.” He wasn’t. A fewyears ago it had been too icy to land and we’d all had to parachute out. “Let’sjust focus on getting dressed while we land.” I turned to Teddybear. “Suitcases,please.”

Teddybear grabbed our suitcases while Esme unfolded threeluggage racks.

“This can’t be right,” said Ash as she rummaged around in herluggage.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

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