Page 24 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

I glanced up at the clock tower in the center of the quaintGerman ski village. Thanks to Ash going down the mountain at nearOlympic-record speeds, we did have a little time to spare. “Okay,” I said. “We cango to one store.”

I tried to lure her into a Swiss chocolate shop. There was achocolate fountain in the big glass window that was calling my name. But thatwasn’t even the most delicious chocolate in there. Because the man at thecounter buying truffles looked a heck of a lot like Flash Robinson. I hadn’ttasted his delicious chocolate cock since my initiation into the Gryphon Club. AndI was pretty sure it would taste better than ever dipped in that chocolatefountain…

But instead Ash dragged me over to an adorable little half-timberedshop with Christmas lights strung up everywhere. The mannequins in the windowswere sporting the poofiest puffer jackets I’d ever seen.

We’d been in the store for all of two seconds when Ashgrabbed a cropped silver jacket and pulled it on. She zipped it all the way toher chin. “Where are the pants?”

“Uh…” I looked around. “I don’t think they have any.”

“Why would they not have any pants?”

“Probably because you chose to shop in the Jacket Emporium.”

“How was I supposed to know what the name of the shoptranslated to? I don’t speak German.”

The signwasin German. But… “The sign saidJackeEmpo´rium.That’s literally one letter away from being in English.”

“There was definitely a weird little accent mark in there too.Can we please go find pants somewhere?”

“No time. And anyway, you look hot. The volume of the poofy jacketand fur boots juxtaposed with your little thong balances so well. In fact, weshould all go for that look.” I grabbed a matching jacket for me and Slavankaand then we headed to the counter to check out.

“That’ll be $20,000,” said the guy at the checkout.

“Fine,” said Ash. She unzipped her jacket and shook her tits athim.

“Whoa! Girl, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Huh? I was just uh…” She cleared her throat. “I was takingmy jacket off so he could ring it up.”

“No, no,” said Slavanka. “You try pay with tits. But he gay.”

“Honey,” added the salesman. “I’m wearing a mesh shirt andpink pleather lederhosen.” He added a sassy little finger wag as he mutteredsomething in German.

Ash tugged her jacket up and turtled down into it.

“They’re out again,” I said. “It’s a crop top.”

She slowly pulled it back down. Her face was the color of atomato and her eyes were as big as dinner plates.

“Just put it on our room tab,” I said to the salesman. “We’rein the Kaiser Suite.”

“I did not realize that was an option,” whispered Ash.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about wanting to show yourtits off. I get it. If you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em. But maybe save that energy forthe meeting. If our baseball bat gifts don’t land right, your tits could comein handy.”

“I’m not going to flash a room of mobsters.”

“Me neither,” I said with a wink.

“No! Don’t wink about that. And seriously, I need pantsbefore we go to this meeting. We’re probably going to get arrested before weeven get there.”

“No way. Germans are totally fine with nudity. In German universitiesthey even have co-ed group showers. Which is really something we should adoptin the US. It would make it so much easier to find all the boys with thebiggest cocks.”

“We transfer to German university next year?” asked Slavanka.

“I don’t hate that idea.”

Ash tried to duck into a clothing store, but I grabbed herarm.

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