Page 29 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

“How’d the meeting go?” asked Teddybear as Ash started searchingthe kitchen for cookie sheets and mixing bowls.

“Fine,” I said.

Teddybear stared at me.

“What?” I asked. “Let’s help Ash make cookies.” I glanceddown at Ash’s recipe and started measuring ingredients.

“Yes, yes,” said Slavanka. “We trap Santa. Lure horses withcookies. And then...” She dragged her thumb across her neck.

Ash laughed. “Slavanka is being silly. We’re going tocatchSanta. And he doesn’t have horses. He has reindeer.”

“Good, good. Reindeer easier to trap than horse. AmericanSanta so stupid.” She shook her head like she was disappointed in hisstupidity. “I prepare reindeer trap. Just need plywood, coat hanger, springs,rebar, and a large plant. Preferably fern. Or herbs.” She started eyeing up theplants under the windows.

It took me a second to figure out what she would need allthose components for. “Are you building a giant mouse trap?” I asked.

“Yes, yes. Stupid reindeer eat fern. Neck go snap. Then Santabelong to us.”

“Slavanka!” gasped Ash. “No! We’re not trying to kill thereindeer. Or kidnap Santa. We just want to catch a glimpse of him. And maybesay hi if he doesn’t look too busy.”

“That no fun. But okay. You need help with cookies? Or Istart on stuffed pig’s head?”

Ash started to gag. “Why would you stuff a pig’s head for Christmas?”

“You prefer unstuffed pig’s head? Why you hate flavor?”

“It’s not the stuffing that bothered me!”

I laughed as I finished measuring the flour and moved on tothe sugar.

“You okay?” asked Teddybear.

“Yup,” I said.

“You sure?”

“Mhm. Why?”

“You just seem a little distracted.”

“Nope. I’m good.”

“So you meant to measure out 21.2 cups of flour instead of 2 1/2cups?”

Huh. I thought it seemed like a lot…

“And I’m pretty sure the recipe doesn’t call for a cup of salt,”added Ghostie.

“This is sugar,” I said, holding up the bottle of salt that I’dbeen about to measure out.Shit.“Okay, fine. I’m maybe a little distracted.”I grabbed their arms and pulled them aside so that Ash wouldn’t hear what I wassaying. And then I told them about how horribly the meeting had gone. And whatIsabella had said to me.

“I’m gonna kill that bitch,” growled Ghostie as he balled hishands into fists.

“Right?” I said. “That was my reaction!”

“Does your father really think that Richard Pruitt cancontrol Crazy Isabella?” asked Teddybear.

“Do you not think he can?”

“Hell no. She’ll probably kill her own dad if he tries to getin her way.”

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