Page 4 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

“Is that a bottle of cum?” I asked. “I used to get that on theblack market from Mexico, but customs really started to crack down on it a fewyears ago.”

Kyle spit out his beer. “What did you just ask?”

“I asked if it was cum. It’s the best face cream a girl coulduse. Why do you think my skin…” I paused and felt my face. “Never mind. I haven’ttaken a cumshot in weeks so my face is dry as hell.” I shot Ash a sassy look.

“I could help you with that,” offered Kyle.

Ash kicked him. “Stop it. You’re not going to cum on my bestfriend.”

“I thought I was your best friend?” asked Rosalie.

“You’re my best friend too. But you haven’t visited me allsemester.”

“I’ll come more in the spring. I promise. Now let’s go eatsome cookies.”

They started to walk over to the cookies, but Ash put her armout to stop her. “Wait! Is Lauren going to pop out of one of these presents?”

Rosalie shook her head. “No. She’s on the cruise with Mom andDad.”

“Wow, really?” asked Ash. “What the hell?”

“Yeah,” agreed Kyle. “I dunno why she agreed to go. I turnedthat shit down so fast. I wasn’t about to go on some old person cruise toBermuda for Christmas.”

Ash and Rosalie stared at him in disbelief.

“Oh shit,” he said. “Were you two not invited?”

They shook their heads.

“Damn. I always thought you guys were joking about me andLauren being the favorites. It’s probably because we’re so good at gift giving.”

“Are you though?” asked Ash. “Because it seems like yourChristmas present to me is a six pack of beer I won’t drink. And Lauren didn’tbother to send anything.”

“Sure she did.” Kyle reached back into the giant present andpulled out a DVD case with a very sexy Mrs. Claus on the front.

Ash scrunched up her nose. “Stuffing Mrs. Claus? Whywould she get me this?”

“Probably because you’re in love with Santa,” said Kyle.

“Exactly! So why would I want to see him stuffing Mrs. Claus?I want him to stuff me.” She coughed. “I mean my stocking. Who wants somecookies? I sure do.” She tossed the DVD on the floor and headed over to thecookies.

She was about to take a bite when there was a knock on the door.

“Who’s that?” asked Ash.

You’ll see.“Santa?” I suggested.

“Santa?!” screamed Teddybear. “I KNOW HIM!”

We all laughed. He really did make a good Buddy the Elf. Andeven in his silly costume, I wanted to climb him like a Christmas tree.

Teddybear smiled at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

Gah, I hated my vow of celibacy. If Ash would just go aheadand lose her V-card, I could get filled at both ends by my hot bodyguardsagain.

“Seriously though, who is it?” asked Ash.

I walked over and opened the door.

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