Page 88 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

Uh, or that I guess.

“Well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen,” said Daddy with avery confused look on his face. “I’m going to go get changed. You girls shoulddo the same. We don’t want to be late.”

Actually, I did want to be late.

And honestly, even if I hadn’t been trying to avoid aChristmas morning massacre, I still would have made us late. Because I had noidea which bikini I wanted to wear.

Chapter 19 – Motorboatin’ Moe’s Memorial

Christmas Morning, 2013

I grabbed my suitcase and pulled it into Ash’s room.

“So what color bikini are you thinking?” I asked.

“None.”

“Oh wow. Going for another naked run down the mountain? Whata beautiful way to honor Great Grandpappy Moe. The old sailor would have lovedthat.”

“Sailor?” asked Ash. “What was he doing storming a Nazi towerin the middle of the mountains if he was a sailor?”

“Oh, no. He wasn’t actually a sailor. He was in the army. Wejust refer to him as the old sailor since his nickname was Motorboatin’ Moe.” Iput my face between Ash’s tits and motorboated her to illustrate my point.

She laughed and pushed me away. “I should have known that youcome from a long line of perverts.”

“Aw, thanks!”

“How do you not have a million siblings?”

“Motorboatin’ Moe was one of twenty-six…” I started.

“His poor mother,” gasped Ash. She put her hand over hercooch and cringed.

“But he was only 18 when he went off to war, so he only hadthree kids of his own. And by the time they were old enough to fuck, the pillhad been invented. So Daddy just has one brother. And I’m one of a kind.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

“Speaking of the pill… Did you take yours last night?”

“Of course. Why?”

Because I don’t want you to pop out a baby in nine monthsand ruin our sophomore year of college.“I just know I sometimes forget totake mine on vacation.” That was a lie. Ialwaystook my birth control duringvacation. That was when I got the most dick, and I wasn’t ready for a little monsterto ruin my vagina yet. Or ever. #StretchTheSurrogate.

“Shit. Maybe I did forget. I always have it with dinner. Butlast night we didn’t have dinner. We just had a shit ton of cookies. Do youthink that’s why Santa put that Plan B in my stocking?” She didn’t seemterribly concerned by the whole thing. Probably because she thought the worst-casescenario here was a tummy ache and some mood swings. If she’d remembered beingfilled by the banana bros, she would have been freaking the fuck out.

She rummaged through her purse and pulled out her pillcontainer. “Nope. I remembered.”

Phew!No baby for Ash!

With that out of the way, I was able to focus on my bikiniselection. And really…there was only one choice. I grabbed my skimpiest blackbikini.

“Good idea to wear black since it’s kind of a funeral,” saidAsh. “And I think Motorboatin’ Moe would really appreciate your cleavage. Ikind of want to motorboat you, and I’m not even a pervert.”

Aren’t you, though?“My thoughts exactly. Also, blackis the only color that won’t be instantly ruined by bloodstains. Which is idealfor a potential massacre.”

“Massacre?!” yelled Ash. “I thought that was taken care of?”

“It is.”I hope.Even with our new alliance, there wasno guarantee that Crazy Isabella wouldn’t do something crazy. Hence me planningto make us late to the tower.

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