Page 91 of Single Girl Rules: HoHoHo

Johanna and the little girl being interviewed, on the otherhand, seemed completely oblivious to what was happening behind them. The snowfalling must have dampened the sound of bullets too much for them to hear it.

“No!” yelled Ash. “Stop shooting them!”

Ghostie put his hand on her shoulder. “Relax, Ash. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine! They’re killing them!”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “This is pretty fucked up.”

“Just watch,” said Ghostie. He pointed to the screen.

They kept shooting. It was jarring to hear the sound of bulletscombined with the cheering Christmas music in the lounge. I drew a littlecloser to the fire.

How the hell was Ghostie so calm right now? I knew he’d beenin the military. But he still shouldn’t have been so chill about innocentpeople getting slaughtered by Crazy Isabella’s minions.

They finally stopped shooting. As the cloud of snow from thebullets started to dissipate, I expected to see the snow running red withblood. But instead I just saw…legs.

“How are those legs still standing?” asked Ash. “And whathappened to their torsos?!” She dry heaved.

“It called Rasputin leg,” said Slavanka. “Happen sometimewhen very cold. Person lose body and leg immediately freeze.” She made her legsgo stiff to show us what she meant.

“I don’t think that’s what’s happening,” I said as the snowsettled more. The ground was covered in straw rather than blood. And now that Isaw that, I realized that there was also straw sticking out of the tops of the disembodiedlegs still standing there.

The yeti men must have seen what I saw, because they alllooked very confused.

“I was worried that Isabella might not get the message aboutour alliance,” said Ghostie. “So I had Teddybear set up some decoys.” He gesturedto what was left of the straw dummies.

“Oh thank God,” said Ash. “I really thought those poor peoplehad just been murdered.”

“Nope,” said Ghostie. “Everyone is fine. Except Isabella. Shelooks pretty pissed.” He pointed to a woman in a pinstripe snow suit skiingfuriously towards the yeti men.

She skidded to a stop, spraying them all with snow. And thenshe pulled back her fur hood and shook her hair out.

She pointed animatedly at the straw dummies. To really gether point across, she picked some straw up and threw it at one of her guards.

And then she pointed down the mountain.

The guards all started reloading their Tommy guns whileIsabella drew something in the snow with her ski pole.

“Uh,” said Ash. “I’m no expert on this sorta thing. But itlooks like they’re making a battle plan on how to kill us all.”

“Indeed she is,” I said. “Ghostie, gather the families andhave them meet us in the lobby. I have a battle plan of my own.”

He nodded and ran off. Slavanka ran off too.

“Please tell me that we’re going to the lobby to steal snowmobilesand get as far away as humanly possible from Crazy Isabella,” said Ash. Shestarted humming a Christmas carol to tamper down her nerves.

I shook my head. “We’re not gonna run. We’re gonna end thisbitch.”

Chapter 20 – The Big Black Dildo

Christmas Morning, 2013

Within five minutes, all the families had gathered in thelobby.

The banana king and his boss, Luigi Locatelli, stood in frontof a heavily armed squad of guards in black vests and terrifying ski masks. Seeingthem brought back so many good memories of our escape from the Locatelli Resortand Spa.

The Chadwicks weren’t dressed nearly as professionally. Whilethe Locatellis looked like a well drilled SWAT team, the Chadwicks were more ofan angry mob. They had no clear uniform, other than huge muscles and angryscowls. Chad’s father, Chad, and one of the Toms stood at the front of the mob.The other two Toms couldn’t be here or their secret of being triplets would beblown.

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