Page 105 of Loved

"I kind of doubt that."

"Then choose your next university wisely so I don't have to keep wasting money. Besides, I've always wanted a building named after me."

She laughed and looked back up at the painting. "I want you to decide where we go. I'm indecisive. You're better at making decisions than me."

"I'd rather make that decision together." I squeezed her shoulder. I meant it. I was going to be better at working together with her from here on out. "Until then, I definitely want this painting. You like it, right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay. I'll be right back." I walked over to the art gallery manager. He seemed surprised that I didn’t try tonegotiate the price. But it was a lot cheaper than any art I’d ever bought before. And it was well worth the price. Wherever we ended up, I wanted a little bit of Rehoboth with us.

We walked back over to the painting and the manager pulled the canvas off the wall. “Let me package it up for you. I’ll be right back.”

When he was gone, Penny looked up at me. “James, could we maybe get the picture you sent me the other day printed out?”

“Of Rob giving you the middle finger? I’m sure we can get a better picture than that.”

“It’s the first picture you ever sent me of yourself. I like it. You look really happy. I even made it my background image.” She handed me her phone. She’d cropped Rob out of it so that it was zoomed up on my face.

I did look happy. And I felt guilty that we’d fought so much. From here on out, I planned to only make her smile. “You’re incredibly cute.” I handed her the phone back. “Can it at least be smaller than the painting we just got?”

She laughed. “Yeah, that’s fine. Just like a normal sized picture would be great.”

“Okay.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulders again. “So what else do cozy places have?” Because I literally had no idea. But I wanted everything to be perfect for her.

“James, I need to confess something.”

Fuck. What now?

“It’s not bad,” she quickly said. “I just...” my voice trailed off. “When I told you I went to my dorm room after I was upset because it was cozy, that wasn’t the whole truth. I was embarrassed. When you described what your brother was like, you said he wasn’t independent. Youmade it seem like that was a bad thing. And I don’t want you to think of me that way.”

She went back to her dorm because she was embarrassed of not seeming independent? I didn’t need her to be independent. I wanted her to depend on me.

“I wanted to prove to you that I could be strong and take care of myself. And I couldn't. I..."

"Penny, I want to take care of you." I kissed her forehead. It was wrong of me to say that about Rob. I was a shitty brother. And I never wanted her to ever doubt how I felt about her. I liked that she relied on me. "I want you to let me take care of you."

"I need you."

I lowered my eyebrows. I wasn’t sure where all this was coming from. I remembered a lot of last night, but I was sure there were pieces missing. I wondered if I’d said something stupid. But…those words were exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted her to need me. To need me just as much as she wanted me. Where need and want blurred because we were so attached to each other. "Penny, I need you too. You shouldn't be embarrassed about that."

"I know. But I told you I could handle it. I just wanted you to think I was strong. And I was embarrassed about how wrong I was about everything. Everyone was so horrible. I just felt..."

"Hey." I cupped her chin in my hand. "I do think you're strong. I think you're perfect. You don't need to prove anything to me."

She smiled up at me.

And anyone who thought she was weak just didn’t know her. Penny was quiet and reserved. Loud people had a bad habit of associating volume with strength. But they could take their comments and shout them all day andthey’d be dead wrong about my girl. "Does that mean my apartment is cozy enough already?"

She laughed. "It could be cozier."

"Mhm. So back to my original question. What else do we need?"

"A rug in the living room might be nice."

"Good thinking."

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