Page 117 of Loved

“You quit it,” he mouthed back.

"James?" Penny asked when Rob didn’t respond.

I pushed on his arm and gestured to the phone.

"No, it's Rob. Do we sound the same on the phone?"

"Yes, you do."

Really? Weird.

"Damn it!” Rob said. “I should have convinced you to have phone sex or something. Can we rewind a couple seconds? Hey, Penny, it's Professor Hunter."

I started laughing again. I couldn’t help it.

"Gross. Rob, can you please put your brother on the phone?"

Brendan elbowed me in the side so I’d stop laughing.

"Sorry, love, can't do that,” Rob said.

"And why is that?"

"You're going to be mad at me."

"What are you guys doing?"

"We ran a few errands and then I finally convinced my tightly wound brother to go to a bar. But, we both know how he is..."

"Can you please just bring him home?" She sounded really worried. I felt a little bad about it, but the surprise would be worth it.

"In a bit."

"Rob, I'm serious. Bring him home right now." I’d never heard her talk so sternly before. It was kind of hot.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Penny. We're having fun! If he's too drunk to fuck you when we get home, I'll be happy to stand in. Don't you worry."

Seriously, Rob?

"Stop being gross. Just bring him home safely, okay?"

"You have my word, sugar tits."

Sugar tits?What the fuck was he doing? But I guess he did sound pretty wasted himself…

"You're drunk too, aren't you?"

"Mhm."

"You're impossible."

"You're impossible!" he mimicked back at her.

"And you're seriously not going to let me talk to James?"

"Professor Hunter is currently unavailable. Please leave a message at the beep." Rob made a farting noise and ended the call.

We all burst out laughing. “Epic, man,” I said.