Page 137 of Loved

“I’m sorry Rob hated all those places,” I said. “I was really hoping for us to be close to campus so it would be an easy commute for you. If you liked any of them we could go back and look just the two of us…”

“I want your brother to want to visit. He makes you so happy.”

I shrugged. I just wanted Penny to be happy.

“So where are we now?” she asked. “I’m all turned around.”

“We’re about halfway between campus and Central Park.”

She smiled up at me. “Blive Tech was close to Central Park, right?”

I nodded.

“Do you think when you start your new company you’ll want another office around there?”

“Maybe.” It depended on a lot of things. How in-control I felt. How good I was. If I could convince Dr. Clark to move to New York. I had an idea for that. I wanted to offer him a permanent position at my new company. An on-site therapist. Mainly for my sake. But it would be a nice perk for employees. And he’d have a hard time turning it down because I was going to pay him whatever he wanted. In the meantime, I could talk to him on the phone. I’d been doing that a lot recently anyway.

“Well, wouldn’t a place in between campus and your new office be perfect then? Let’s go see it.” She intertwined her fingers with mine.

I always felt better when our skin touched. The concierge was nice at this one. And it had a garage beneath with direct access up to the penthouse apartment, just like back in Newark. In case I didn’t want to see anyone. I rarely wanted to see anyone.

“Key cards,” Rob said. “I like this place already. We’re going to need three,” he said to Evelyn.

“We don’t know if we want this place yet,” I said. “And we’ll only need two keys.”

“Three keys,” Rob whispered to Evelyn, loudly enough for me to hear.

Rob could visit whenever he wanted. But no key. I didn’t want him to walk in on me and Penny. I had a bad habit of taking Penny’s clothes off as soon as we were alone. And Ian watching was one thing. Rob was another entirely.

We walked into the apartment. Light was actually filtering into the main living space. It had a view that overlooked several other buildings. It felt open and spacious. And I breathed a little easier when I wasn’t staring at a wall outside my window.

“Wow,” Penny said and looked up the stairs.

It wasn’t quite a second story. There was only one bedroom up there. But it was nice to have the separation. There was an office. Two guest rooms. A place to put my pool table. And not a single cockroach. It was about the same size as my place in Newark. It felt…right.

We walked into the kitchen.

“Now this is more what I was expecting,” Rob said and ran his hands along the granite.

Penny smiled as she turned around in a circle. She turned toward me and her face grew serious. “It’s notquitecozy,” she said.

Oh.I tried to hide the disappointment on my face. For a second, I’d thought she loved it too. I didn’t really know what to say. We’d spent all day looking.

“But it will be,” she said and her smile cracked through. “Once we decorate.”

“Yeah? You like it?”

“I love it.” She was practically beaming. “And it’s perfect that it’s right in between my school and your soon to be offices. Could we walk to Central Park do you think?”

“It’s a couple miles away, but yeah. We could. Or we could get Ian to give us a lift.”

She couldn’t stop smiling.

So I couldn’t stop smiling. “It’s the one right?”

“If you love it,” she said.

“I really do. But I only want it if you do too.” It was close to her campus. And far enough away from the Upper East Side that I’d still be able to breathe easily. It was perfect. But only if she was all in.

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