"I know. I think you made the right choice."
I made a pretend shocked face. "I'm right? What?"
She nudged my shoulder. "So if you didn't want to break up with me, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Nothing." I picked her pants up off the ground and handed them to her. "We're okay."
"No, what was it?" She quickly got dressed as I stared at her.
I’d wanted to talk to her about a lot of things. Skipping classes for the rest of the day. Making sure she was okay. But… "Honestly, I was really mad at you. I'm still mad at you. I told you to let me handle the situation this morning. You shouldn't have interfered." I could hear Ellen’s voice in the back of my head reprimanding me for saying this. But I was trying this whole telling the truth thing for once in my life.
"I know, but you also didn't tell me that you were planning to resign. How was I supposed to know what to do? If you don't talk to me, I can't know what you're thinking. I thought I was helping. Actually, I was mad at you too."
"I know. I'm still getting used to this." I reached out and cradled her cheek in my hand. "I'm not used to having someone on my side."
"Well maybe you should get used to it. Because I love you. I'm not going to run off. I want to be with you."
"It's hard for me to believe that."
"Why?" She put her hands on the sides of my face. "Why don't you feel worthy of love? Why don't you trust me?"
"I didn't mean that. I do trust you. I'm just not used to being...I don't know how to explain it..."
"Vulnerable?"
I frowned. "Vulnerable? I'm not sure if that's the word I was looking for."
"I just mean that you don't have to be strong around me all the time. I just want you to be you."
"This is me." I wasn’t vulnerable. I stared at her. But maybe she wanted me to try to be. I was always prepared. I always knew what I wanted. I was always in control. And that wasn’t necessarily a good thing for a relationship.
"I know. I just mean, you don't have to be scared of showing me every side of you."
"The only thing I'm scared of is losing you." But I’d try my best to be more open with her.
"You're not going to lose me. I'm sorry. I was upset that you made the decision to quit without me. And then I thought you were going to break up with me. And it was hard being in class without you. I don't know if I can do it."
I know, baby."Let's forget all the noise for right now, okay? Let's just enjoy us. We finally get to be together, Penny." I found the light switch and flicked it so that I could see her better.
She had that ruffled sex hair that I loved so much. I finished buttoning my shirt as I stared down at her.
She looked around at the mess we’d made in the closet. A few bottles of cleaner had spilled from the shelves and I’d knocked a bunch of other stuff over too. "James, do you think maybe we should pick some of this up?"
"Eh, I don't work here anymore. Let's get the hell out of here before someone finds us." I grabbed her hand and opened the door a crack. The next classes for the day were already in session and the coast was clear. I pulled Penny out after me and we ran hand-in-hand through the hallway. It was strange holding her hand in the middle of this building. And I couldn’t hide the smile on my face if I even tried.
A few students walking along the green turned to look at us as we ran to my car. I opened the door for Penny and she quickly got in. I closed her door and ran around to myside. I turned my key in the ignition and leaned over and kissed her.
This was what I’d been waiting for. There had been so much stress in our relationship. It finally felt like we were allowed to be happy. We were acting like two teenagers in love. And that's how I felt. When I was next to her, I felt like anything was possible.
I looked over at her. "Truth or dare?" I asked. There was something we still needed to do before we could shut the world out for the rest of the day. We needed to tell her parents about us.
Her eyes met mine. She bit her lip as she pondered which to choose. "Dare."
That’s what I was hoping she would choose. This would be better to do in person than over the phone. Besides, I wanted to get as far away from here as possible.
Every mile we drove away from the University of New Castle, the more relaxed I felt. Part of it was the scenery. The colorful autumn trees blurred together as we sped by. But the better view was the smile on Penny’s face. It was hard not to be relaxed when she looked so damn happy. I kept stealing glances at her as I drove down the highway. Each time I looked, she was already staring at me. And I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. We were…free.
"What are you staring at?" I finally asked.