Page 28 of Loved

She held Teddy out further.

"Oh, um, okay." I grabbed Teddy and held him out in front of me. Was I doing this right? I was pretty sure I was about to squish him. Teddy began to squirm in my hands. "Oh God." I tossed the little orange beast onto the floor, and he immediately darted out of the room.

Penny started laughing. "So, I'm guessing you aren't an animal person?"

"Was it that obvious? I just never had a pet growing up. Now cats and dogs just kind of freak me out."

She laughed again and grabbed my hand. "Well, I just have the one cat. So you don't need to worry about running into any more. And I'm pretty sure Teddy is going to stay away from you the rest of the afternoon."

"I hope that's not a bad omen." I wanted her parents to like me more than Teddy did.

"Don't be ridiculous.” But she didn’t look like she believed what she was saying.

Yeah, me neither.

“Okay, well, this is the dining room,” she said, changing the subject. She walked through the archway into the dining room. It was simple, just a table and chairs and some pictures on the walls.Ohhhh, pictures.Now that was something I was excited to see.

I walked over to the wall and looked at a picture of a very young Penny hugging a tree with bright red leaves. What on earth was she doing hugging a tree trunk? She had the biggest smile on her face though. And her smile made me smile. "You're so adorable."

Penny laughed. "I'm really glad there aren't any pictures of my awkward stage in here. I begged my mom to stop putting them all over the house. Maybe she finally listened." She glanced over at the China cabinet and then snapped her head back toward me. She looked absolutely horrified.

Bingo.I walked over to the China cabinet to see what had her so flustered.

"Don't you want to see the kitchen?" she asked.

I leaned down and stared at a picture of Penny smiling with braces. Okay, yeah, that was not the best picture. I wondered what made her choose to smile so hard in it. So hard that the tendons in her neck were showing. Maybe she was trying to make people not notice her braces? I stifled a laugh.

Penny groaned.

I looked over at her and smiled. "Super adorable. I have no idea why you've never had a boyfriend before."

"Oh shut up." She grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the dining room.

"Seriously, Penny." I pushed her back against the doorframe between the kitchen and dining room. "You're beautiful." And sexy. Who cared about one bad school portrait? But I did love how flushed her cheeks were over the whole ordeal of me seeing it.

"Not in that picture."

I placed a soft kiss against her lips. "Well you should have seen me in junior high."

"You were probably always sexy."

I laughed. "I'm sure Rob will love showing you picture evidence of how that is so not true." I was a little lanky before I started working out in high school. But no, I didn’t have any pictures like I’d just witnessed of Penny. I don’t think I’d ever smiled quite as hard as she had in that photo. The thought made me frown. That wasn’t true. I used to smile all the time with my friends. Before senior year of high school, anyway. I tried to push the thought away. But it just stuck there. And I couldn’t help it.

I thought about the girl who’d first told me that the people were nicer in Delaware. Had she lived in a house like this before she moved to New York? I didn’t think so. She wasn’t as well off as Penny’s family. Her house was probably smaller. Even homier. I pressed my lips together.I wondered if she’d still be alive if she’d gotten to stay in Delaware, far away from me and my friends.

"I'm excited to meet him,” Penny said, pulling me back into the present.

I took a deep breath. I needed to stop thinking about what ifs. I was allowed to be happy now. I was allowed to move on. So why was there a lump in my throat?

"It'll be fun having him around,” I said as I stared down at Penny. And I knew why there was a lump in my throat. I’d been so worried about ruining her life. What if I already had? What if her parents wouldn’t forgive her? What if she moved to New York with me and…I lost her.

Breathe.I released Penny from my embrace and walked into the kitchen.Breathe.I exhaled slowly, this time pushing my plaguing thoughts away better. I looked around the kitchen. "I like your house. It's...warm." I smiled at her.

"Warm. I like that." She led me into the family room.

This room was carpeted and looked even homier than the rest of the house. I could tell Penny spent a lot of time with her family in this room. And best of all, there were two exits in here just in case I needed to flee lunch. "Garage and back door. Noted."

"James, you're not going to have to make an escape. It's not like you're my super old professor. You're not even that much older than me. Plus you aren't even my professor anymore. It could be so much worse. And I think they just want me to be happy. You make me so happy."