Page 68 of Loved

“Interesting?”

“You’re putting her thoughts and feelings above your own. That’s very mature of you.”

“You’re acting like I’m usually a selfish immature prick.”

“I’ve never once said that.”

I took a deep breath. “So you think that’s a good idea then? To stay in town? Even though everyone here is a lying asshole?”

Dr. Clark cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” I quickly added. He hated when I cursed.

“Everyone?” he asked. “Really? Including me?”

“I meant most people.”

“If Penny did decide to drop out of classes, where would you like to move?”

“Is this a trick question? You want me to say that I’d talk to her about it, right?”

Dr. Clark smiled. “No, I’m just genuinely asking where you’d like to be if you weren’t in Delaware.”

“I’d like to go back to New York.” I didn’t even hesitate. My friends were there. I thought I’d never want to go back. I found the city to be suffocating. But…when Penny and I had visited for a day together? I’d felt like myself again. In my element. I was happy there with her.

“Have you told Penny that?”

“She wants to stay.”

“Have you told Penny that?” he repeated.

“No. I’m being the mature adult you know I am and I’m putting her wants first.”

“But your happiness is important too. I think it’s a discussion the two of you need to have. Anactualdiscussion.”

“Hmm an actual discussion? So you’re saying I should just whisk her away to New York this weekend and buy an apartment?”

“What, no, I…” his voice trailed off and he laughed when he saw that I was smiling. “Hilarious. But no. Tell her that you’re excited about maybe starting fresh somewhere new with her. See what her ideas are of a new location. And you can tell her yours. Open communication.”

Yeah. But Penny wanted to stay here. And I’d do anything for her. “Maybe once she graduates,” I said.

“So you plan to stay here for another two and a half years doing what exactly? Talking to me?”

I laughed.God I hope not.“I’ve been working on this new security system.”

“Right, right, I remember. And you’ll feel fulfilled doing that here?”

“Really, as long as I’m with Penny I feel plenty fulfilled. She’s everything to me.”

“Everything is a very scary term to use, James. She’s an important part of your life. But she can’t be everything. You know that’s a slippery slope.”

Dr. Clark was wrong this time. Penny could be everything to me. She was everything to me. I took another deep breath. “I gave up my whole life to be with her. She is everything.”

“So you’re all in?”

I nodded. “I’m all in.” I’d come here to tell Dr. Clark about my nightmare. Or memory. Or whatever the fuck it was. But I was done thinking about Isabella. I was done with all of it. Isabella had taken her last shot at me. It wasdone. I doubted I’d ever hear from her again. I was ready to move past this. I was ready for whatever was next with Penny. Here, New York City, somewhere across the Atlantic Ocean. It didn’t matter where. Because I was all fucking in.

“I’m happy for you, James.”

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