Page 9 of Loved

"I love you." And that’s all that mattered. That’s why we were going to get through today. I climbed out of the car and walked around to her side. I put my hand out for her and she grabbed it. We continued to hold hands as we went into the building. It was the first time we’d done something like this on campus. We were done hiding now.

We entered through the side door and made our way through the lobby and down the hallway. I dropped her hand, opened a door, and gestured for her to walk through. Joe’s receptionist looked up at us. She smiled at me, but then her face fell when Penny grabbed my hand again. Like she’d just remembered why I was there.

I cleared my throat. "Hi, Becca. We have a meeting with Joe."

"Yes. Joe is expecting you." She picked up a phone on the desk and punched in a few numbers. "Your 7 a.m. is here." She looked over at Penny. "Yes, she's here too." Shepaused again. "Okay," she said and hung up the receiver. "He'll be right out." She stared at us for another second before her eyes drifted back to her computer screen.

I escorted Penny to some chairs and we sat down. As each second passed, Penny squeezed my hand tighter and tighter. I was pretty sure I was about to lose circulation. I leaned toward her and whispered in her ear, "Penny, you're hurting me."

"Oh, geez, sorry." She stopped gripping my hand so tightly.

I rubbed my thumb along her palm and leaned toward her. "Don't worry,” I whispered. “The dean likes me. I think everything's going to be fine.” Joe didn’t like methatmuch. But he’d been thrilled when I asked him if I could work here. And he’d be thrilled now when I gave him my letter of resignation.

"Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"

"Because I didn't want you to get your hopes up."

"And now?"

"And now I need to believe it's true too." I squeezed her hand. It was going to be a tough sell to keep Penny enrolled here.

Joe stepped out of his office. Normally his salt and pepper hair made him look distinguished. But today he just looked…tired. Tired of me. Tired of being the dean. Tired of all of it. He took one look at us holding hands and shook his head. He turned and walked back into his office.

Well that wasn’t a good start. I sighed and stood up. But I kept my fingers intertwined with Penny’s. We were done hiding this. And Penny needed my hand. I knew how nervous she was. We walked together into Joe’s office.

Joe was sitting behind his desk. He looked up at us. "Close the door, James." He sounded as tired as he looked.And I wondered if he’d been up all night trying to squash the story too.

I closed the door and we both sat down across the desk from him.

Joe sighed deeply and leaned forward in his chair. "Excuse my bluntness, but this is a fucking mess."

Yeah, that sounded about right. "Joe, it was never my intention for this to happen."

"What, you didn't intend to sleep with your students when you accepted this position? Or you didn't intend for anyone to ever find out?"

For fuck’s sake."I never intended to sleep withastudent. Singular, not plural. And I was going to tell you. I didn't want you to find out this way."

"And we met before I knew he was my professor,” Penny said. "And he made it clear that we couldn't fraternize. I refused to listen. It was my fault."

Jesus, Penny. Stop talking.I was trying to keep her enrolled here and she was throwing herself under the bus. I squeezed her hand hard, hoping she’d get the hint. "I take full responsibility for this, Joe.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. He looked like he was in pain. "Sorry, what is your name?" he asked and stared at Penny.

"Penny Taylor."

"Well, Penny, this is not your fault. James is an acting professor at this university. It's his responsibility to uphold the rules." He turned back to me. "We have a code of ethics, which I know you're aware of. Although not explicitly stated, dating a student violates the core values of this institution. What the hell were you thinking? And not only did you fail to disclose this relationship to me, but I had to find out in the damn newspaper." He slammed his fist down on top of his desk where today's newspaper wassitting. "Your ex-wife has made it a point not only to disgrace you but this entire university. It's like a fucking reality T.V. show."

"Joe..."

"I don't want to hear your excuses. You should have told me, James." He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I know all that stuff your wife said is a lie. But it's going to be hard to convince other professors as well as your students' parents otherwise. They made it seem like you molested her or something." He paused and sighed. "It's a mess. They're pulling me down with you. I've already given my okay to launch an investigation. All your students will have to be interviewed because of the press's allegations, even though no one has openly come forward. And if you're lying about it just being her...if you laid a finger on any other girl...then I recommend you just resign right now, because..."

"It's just Penny." Joe had every right to question my character. But not on this. I hadn’t gone anywhere near any of my students. Even though several of them blatantly flirted with me. I hadn’t even asked for his help when that student was practically stalking me last year. Not that I could really judge. I’d stalked Penny when we were on a break. I knew I was a mess. And I knew this situation was a mess. But it was only ever Penny. This wasn’t just some dumb fling. I was in love with her.

Joe sighed again. "Well the board has already decided to suspend you during the investigation. That decision is over my head, but I completely agree with them. We may be able to lift your suspension if everything comes back clean after that. But my recommendation is that you two terminate your relationship immediately. This can't go on if you intend to keep working here."

"We're not doing that."No way in hell.

"Well I don't have any other ideas. We've already had dozens of calls this morning from concerned parents. I have to act or I'll probably be fired next. Stop seeing her and if the interviews with other students show no other instances of misconduct you can keep teaching at this university under a probationary period. If there are no more violations we'll lift the probationary period in six months. And continuing to screw one of your students counts as a violation. So it needs to end. Otherwise we have to let you go."

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