Page 91 of Loved

The plan probably was bad. And the car definitely stood out. But there was no way anyone was talking me out of defending Penny.

Chapter 24

Friday

“What about a bomb?” Rob said from the back seat as Ian drove us toward Professor McCarty’s house.

“No,” Ian said firmly and hit his turn signal.

“Boo, you whore.”

“Did you just call me a whore?”

“If the shoe fits.”

Ian laughed. “Think smaller.”

“You’re a teensy little baby whore.”

“Wow. No. I meant about the bomb. Why are you being so mean?”

“Because you won’t show me the footage of Penny!”

“Not happening,” I said.

“Gah!”

“Just come up with a smaller prank,” Ian said. “And I’ll go along with it. I’m the only one that’s not drunk so I have to give the okay.”

“Fine. I’m thinking smaller. So…dynamite?”

Ian shook his head. “Smaller.”

“A candle?”

“Let’s forget about lighting anything on fire,” I said. “I just want to kick his ass.”

“No, we have to pull something epic.” Rob poked his head through the gap in the front seats. “What if we get a chainsaw and…”

“We’re not cutting anyone into pieces,” Ian said. “Smaller, Rob.”

“Ian always ruins all my fun. Can’t we do this without him?”

“Ian’s the only one sober enough to drive,” I said. “Besides, he’s great at secret missions. What do you think we should do, Ian?”

“I don’t know. Something nondestructive that won’t get us arrested.”

“Here’s the plan,” Rob said. “We break into his house and fill his washing machine with way too much detergent so the bubbles…”

“Or we could not break in,” Ian said. “Let’s just toilet paper his house or something.”

Rob nodded. “A classic. I like it. But maybe we can still break in after. Oh and back to the bomb thing…”

“No fires,” Ian said.

“You didn’t let me finish. If we put some dynamite in his pipes they’ll explode. And then when the bubbles unleash from the washing machine they’ll just keep growing and growing. He won’t be able to see a damn thing. And the bubbles will get into his mouth. Which is good. Because he should wash his mouth out after being an ass and hitting on Penny.”

“I kinda like that,” I said.

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