Page 158 of Forever

“How can I right that wrong?” I asked. Tonight had suddenly turned into a time for healing old wounds. And it seemed fitting before the wedding to make amends. I wanted her to forget about whatever the hell she’d seen with Jen. It meant nothing. And I hated how something that meant so little had changed everything for us.

“Well, there was one thing I wish I’d done,” Brooklyn said.

“Yeah?” I raised my eyebrow.

“Oh, yeah.” She put her hands on my chest and then pushed me backward into the pool.

I laughed as I fell backward, splashing into the water. When I rose to the surface Brooklyn was jumping in. I pulled her into my arms as everyone else finally made it to the pool.

“Cannon ball!” Rob yelled and splashed into the water next to us. The water turned brown around him which made me laugh.

He came to the surface. “I’m free!” he yelled at the top of my lungs.

I thought I’d be mad at Rob. But I understood what he was trying to do. I understood that we all needed closure from 16 years ago in our own way. I should have known his way would be destructive. I hadn’t realized it, but he’d been holding on to that pain for a long time. Especially since I’d forbid my friends from even talking about Brooklyn.

It was also easy not to be upset with him when Tanner was so cool with everything. And Brooklyn seemed happy too. Besides, ending tonight this way actually felt kind of perfect. I couldn’t think of a more memorable rehearsal dinner.

Everyone started jumping in. Screaming and splashing water.

“Bath time!” Nigel yelled and belly flopped into the pool.

I shook my head. That man and his baths.

Brooklyn wrapped her legs around my waist. “We’re getting married tomorrow!” she shouted over the noise.

I dropped my lips to her ear. “Just so you know…Tanner was right. I would have waited a hundred years to have you in my arms again.”

Brooklyn’s cheeks flushed.

The bubbles grew around us, blocking us from seeing anyone else. We were in our own little world. Just the two of us.

“Next time I do something wrong, push me in the pool right away,” I said. “No reason to wait 16 years.”

She laughed. “NowthatI can promise. As long as you re-promise me something.”

“Anything,” I said.

“Don’t break my heart, Matthew Caldwell.”

Chapter 35

Friday

Brooklyn

I stared at Matt sleeping peacefully beside me. The light streaming in through the blinds made his hair look lighter. It made him look more like the boy I knew back in high school. My first love. My first kiss. My first time. The boy I promised all my firsts too. The boy whose heart I broke.

Tanner’s words had been swirling around in my head all night. During his toast, he said the love Matt had for me wasn’t replaceable. It was the second time he’d told me that. The first time was at the homecoming game when I saw Matt again for the first time since coming back to New York. I think Tanner brought it up last night because he wanted to remind me. He knew there were two sides to today. Joy and pain. He was probably worried I’d be a runaway bride or something.

But I wasn’t really focused on his words from last night. My mind had settled on something else he’d said to me at the homecoming game. That I’d had a great lovetwice. That I was one of the lucky ones. And yes, I lost it. But only once. Matt never stopped loving me.

And I’d never stopped loving him.

My heart still had a hard time admitting that. But it was true. I’d never stopped loving Matthew Caldwell. As soon as I gave him my heart, it was done. He owned a piece of it.

And lying here in bed on the day of my wedding, I still loved Miller. Just like when I’d said ‘I do’ in the snow to Miller, I still loved Matt.

Apparently I was one of the lucky ones. Who knew that luck could feel so painful?

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