Page 168 of Forever

I nodded. “Could I actually have a minute alone?”

“Of course.” She hugged me tight and then closed my bedroom door behind me.

I opened the drawer I’d just put my ring in and pulled out the letter Miller had written me. I needed to remember his words. Exactly how he’d said them.

Hey Kid,

Fuck.I stopped reading. I couldn’t read the whole letter. My tears were already threatening to fall after that one line. I just needed to find the part about Matt. I scanned down the letter.

I’ll always love you. And I know you loved me too. I know that. Don’t ever doubt that. I knew.

But you have to do what your mom told you. You have to keep living. I’ve given this a lot of thought. And I need you to hear me say this. I know there was someone before me. I know you still think about him sometimes. I just want you to be happy. And safe. And I want the same for Jacob. This isn’t easy for me to say, but I need you to know that I’m okay if you choose him now. Because I never want you to stop smiling.

The tears were streaming down my face now. Justin was going to kill me. But I skipped down to the end of the letter and kept reading anyway.

And when you miss me, just look up at the stars. Because we were always written in them.

Yes, we promised each other forever. But we both know forevers are sometimes cut short. So you need to forget about all those promises. The only thing I want you to do is keep living. Embrace life. Be happy. Be so blissfully happy every day that you have. Don’t waste another second of your time on this earth. Will you promise me that? Do this one last thing for me?

Keep living, kid.

Love always,

-Miller

“I promise,” I whispered out loud through my tears. I let my face fall into my hand as I kept crying. I pictured dancing with Miller in the kitchen. And swimming with him in the lake. And staring up at the stars together in our garden. It was almost like I could feel his arms around me if I closed my eyes tight enough. Like he was right here with me. Snuggling in front of a warm fire. “I promise I’ll keep living, Miller.” I opened my eyes and the image of him beside me vanished.

There was a knock on the door.

I quickly put the letter back in the drawer and closed it.

Justin walked in. “Kennedy said you might need me…” his voice trailed off. “Oh no.”

I waited for him to scold me.

Instead he opened up his arms. “Come here, gorgeous.”

I closed the distance between us and hugged him.

He held me for a minute, rubbing his hand up and down my back. “I actually have someone on the phone for you,” Justin said.

“What?” I pulled back.

He was holding his cell phone in one hand. I’d been too busy crying to notice. He placed it in my hand. “Talk to him while I fix your face. No more crying, deal?”

I nodded. God, Matt always knew when I needed him. “Hey, Matt, I…”

Justin smiled at me as he wiped beneath my eyes with a wet cloth.

And the person on the other end of the line cleared their throat. “Brooklyn,” said Tanner. “I can get Matt if you want but I was hoping I could talk to you first.”

I smiled. I should have known it was him. He was the first person I really opened up to when I came back to New York. And he had a really good habit of showing up exactly when I needed him.

“I just had a feeling you might need to talk before the ceremony.”

“Thank you, Tanner. I was just reading the letter…”

“Miller’s letter?”

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