“Chill, Nigel,” Rob said. “This isn’t about you. And I didn’t want it to come to this, Matt,” Rob said. “But you leave me no choice. Check this out.” He pulled out his phone and hit a button.
My voice filled the room with a recording: “Rob is my best friend. I like him the most of all my friends.”
Fuck.I’d forgotten about that.
Rob had somehow synced up to the D.J.’s speakers.
“Son of a bitch,” Tanner said.
“Let me play it again in case you didn’t hear.” Rob hit the button again. “Rob is my best friend. I like him the most of all my friends.”
Tanner glared at me.
“You were messing with my life,” I said. “I was pissed at you.” It had actually been because he kept trying to set Kennedy up with Felix. But I was not about to say that out loud right fucking now.What the hell, Rob?!He said he was going to save this recording for Tanner’s wedding one day. He’d never said anything about playing it at mine.
“But I was right about everything,” Tanner said. “Clearly.” He pointed to Brooklyn. “She’s always been your perfect match. It’s true love.”
“Well…yeah.” What else was I supposed to say? In the moment, I’d hated Tanner for interfering. But yes, I was obviously very fucking grateful. And I was not going to talk about that little hiccup with Kennedy on my fucking wedding day.
“So take it back,” Tanner said.
“Of course I take it back.”
“You can’t take it back,” Rob said. “Listen: ‘Rob is my best friend. I like him the most of all my friends.’”
“Stop playing that,” I said.
“No taksie backsies!” Rob yelled.
“Young Robert, we’re supposed to be celebrating the happy couple. Not…whatever it is you’re doing. Sit down, son.” Tanner tried to reach for the microphone, but Rob pulled it away with a deafening screech.
“Did you just call me son?” Rob looked deeply offended. “Why I oughta…”
“Enough,” James said and tried to pull Rob down into his chair.
But Rob shook him off. “Face havin’,” Rob said and put his hand in front of Tanner’s face.
“What does that even mean? Of course I have a face.” Tanner pushed his hand away.
“Based on the delivery and context, it seems as though Rob just directed a horrible insult at you,” Nigel said. “You should be devastated right now, Master Tanner.”
“You should be so devastated!” Rob said. “The most devastated. Ha!” He pointed at Tanner’s face.
But Tanner didn’t look devastated. He just looked confused and slightly entertained.
James successfully wrangled Rob into his chair.
“Congrats to the happy couple!” Rob yelled. “And my best friend!” Rob dropped the microphone and it screeched again.
“Um…thanks?” Brooklyn said.
“You’re welcome.” Rob winked at her.
I just shook my head. Although, that had been wildly entertaining. I expected nothing less from Rob commandeering a speech. I was pretty sure he was also already drunk.
Brooklyn looked up at me. “Interesting friends you got there.”
I laughed. “They’re your friends too.”