Page 20 of Forever

I didn’t.

I stared at the gun in my hand in horror. My stomach churned. I was a murderer. I was just as bad as her father.

Brooklyn let go of my arm. She looked…horrified. Disgusted. By me. She was staring at me like she didn’t even know me.

I didn’t mean to.

I dropped the gun. All I’d ever wanted was to protect her. I’d wanted to be enough. Because no matter how much I wanted to live in the present, I was haunted by the past.

She’d chosen Miller. And I knew a piece of her wished that he was the one standing beside her right now. I’d never fill that hole in her heart. I’d never be what she truly wanted or needed.

Especially now, based on the way she was staring at me.

Chapter 6

Friday – A few seconds earlier

Brooklyn

Matt wasn’t a murderer. And neither was I.

Yes, I’d dreamed of killing my father. Yes, I’d dreamed of wanting revenge for Miller.

But if I had the gun, I wasn’t sure I’d actually be able to pull the trigger.

It was one thing to want something. It was an entirely different thing to actually do it.

I knew Matt wanted to protect me. And I was so grateful. I was grateful that he’d shown up. I was grateful that he was even contemplating doing this. But Matt wasn’t Miller. And I didn’t need him to be. I just needed him to be…him. “I love you exactly the way you are,” I said. And I meant it.

Tears ran down his cheeks. It looked like he was about to lower the gun.

But then a shot rang out. The bullet pierced Locatelli right in the middle of his forehead.

No.I was glad Locatelli was dead. He deserved it. But I hadn’t needed Matt to pull the trigger for me. I didn’t need him to be something that he wasn’t.

Matt stared down at his gun in horror.

Oh, Matt.My heart shattered for him.

“What the fuck?!” Magnus King yelled and lifted his hands higher in the air.

Matt dropped the gun. He looked like he was going to throw up.

I knew he’d done it for me. But I hadn’t wanted him to. I didn’t want him to ever feel like he needed to be different. I didn’t want him to feel like he wasn’t good enough exactly the way he was.

I’m so sorry you thought I wanted that.I hugged him.

He put his arms around me. I pressed the side of my face against his chest. His heart was racing so fast.

There were so many times that he held me when I needed him. It had always felt like he was taking my pain away. And all I wanted to do was take away his.

Tanner put his hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Your first kill is always the hardest. Taking another man’s life is no easy feat. But you will get over it. Trust me.”

“What the hell, Tanner?” Rob said. “How many people have you killed?”

“I just meant from shows I’ve seen. War shows. It’s a history thing, Robert, you wouldn’t understand. But you will get over this, Matt,” he said.

I had a feeling that Matt wasn’t going to get over this. Because this wasn’t him. And this wasn’t me. We didn’t want to be part of this world. I didn’t want danger to be lurking around every corner.Danger. Shit.I pulled back. “Jacob? Is he okay?! We need to go…”

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