Page 34 of Forever

I didn’t want to choose. I wanted us to look together. For a long time, there was no annual Halloween party. No one had been up to it after she’d died. But my parents restarted it a few years ago. And this was the first Halloween Brooklyn was back. I wanted to go all out. But she didn’t seem interested at all.

“How about we go for a run?” I said and sat down next to her on the floor.

“That’s okay.”

“But you love to run.”

She didn’t look at me.

“I think the fresh air might do you some good.”

“I’m not comfortable leaving Jacob here alone.”

“He won’t be alone. We can get Mrs. Alcaraz to watch him. Or Tanner. Or Nigel. Or whoever you feel most comfortable with.”

“That’s okay,” she said again and picked off more tomatoes.

“Brooklyn,” I grabbed her hand.

At least she didn’t pull away from my touch.

“Maybe we should have your father over? You can ask him any other questions you have. To put your mind at ease.”

“I don’t want to see him.”

“I’ll skip work and stay here so you’re not alone with him.”

“You can’t skip work again,” she said. “You haven’t been to work a day this week. And you told me you had meetings today.” It almost seemed like she was excited to get rid of me.

“I’ll figure it out.”

She shook her head. “Really, you should go. And I don’t want any visitors. If there’s one thing I learned in the past few weeks it’s that I should trust my instincts. And my instincts are screaming at me to stay here. Where it’s safe. With you and Jacob. No one else.”

I loved that she trusted me. But she was slowly breaking my heart. Life had given her an unfair hand. And she was starting to turn her back on it. I didn’t want her to stop living because she was scared. “I just don’t want you to waste any days,” I said. I knew how important that was to her.

“Don’t.” She pulled her hand out of mine. “Don’t use my mother’s words against me.”

“I wasn’t, Brooklyn. I’m just worried about you.”

“I need to be here. I don’t know how to explain it. I need to beherewhere it’s safe.”

“What if we go to my parents’ house for the day instead? We can jump in leaves again and…”

“You’re not listening to me.”

“I’m trying, but you’re scaring me. Baby.” I cradled her face in my hands. “You haven’t even stepped outside in days.”

“I’m protecting my family.”

I was trying to understand. I really was. But…I didn’t. “We’re safe now.”

“I know. Because we’rehere. And I’m not leaving.” She stood up, making my hands fall from her face. “I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“Baby, I just want you to talk to me…”

“Hiya, Coach!” Jacob said as he slid across the floor in his socks.

I laughed as he fell into my arms. The panic in my chest always subsided when Jacob was in the room. “Good morning, kiddo.”

---