Page 49 of Forever

“You motorboatin’ son of a bitch,” Matt said. “You old sailor you!”

Rob just stared at him. “You want me to motorboat, Sanders? I mean…if you really want me to.”

“I gotta get out of here, man,” Matt added. “I got a stage five clinger. Virgin clinger.” He pointed to me.

“If Sanders is a virgin she won’t be for long in that dress.” Rob winked at me.

How was he not getting who we were? “If you ever leave me I will find you,” I said and booped Matt on the tip of his nose.

Daphne, Rob, and James were all staring at us like we were crazy.

“It makes more sense with Nigel,” I said. “But I don’t know where he…”

“You called, mademoiselle?” Nigel said and appeared next to Matt.

Matt jumped.

“We’re trying to get them to guess our couples costume,” I said.

Nigel nodded. “Our throuples costume, yes.” He stared at Rob for a second. “Wait, why are you being me?” he asked.

“What?” Rob looked truly offended.

“The hand grenade. That’s me from when I saved Brooklyn.”

Rob laughed. “No, I’m Brick.”

“Did he just call himself a brick?” Nigel turned to me.

“Forget about Rob’s costume,” I said. “Help us explain ours.”

“Right. Let me get into character. I’m a homo painter, you see.” He tossed his scarf over his shoulder and turned toward Matt. “I made this painting for you. Because of the moment we shared at the table.”

“Nigel…” Matt started.

“Shush.” Nigel said and put his finger to his lips. “Don’t you love it? It’s so sexual and violent.”

Matt looked disgusted and moved his face away.

“Stop touching me,” Matt said.

“But they need to know about us!”

It was actually a perfect rendition of him being tied to the bed in the movie. And I wasn’t sure Matt even intended it to be. I could barely breathe I was laughing so hard. Rob, James, and Daphne were all laughing too. They had to know who we were now.

“Quit it, Nigel!” Matt yelled and slapped his hand away.

“Do you want me to hide in the closet?”

“Um…sure?” Matt said.

“Great! I’ll pop out at just the right moment.” Nigel sprinted off.

James laughed. “Wow, okay. That was a lot. But you guys are from Wedding Crashers.”

“Bingo!”

“We actually have a third to our costume too. My dad is around here somewhere being super awkward and giving out sexual advice like the dad from American Pie.”

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