Page 61 of Forever

I laughed. “I’ve always been obsessed with you.” I rested my chin on top of her head. “I’m not ashamed to admit that.”

“I never stopped loving you either,” she said. “I guess I should have dressed like a monster tonight.”

“You’re not a monster, Brooklyn.”

“Aren’t I? My heart has always belonged to youandMiller.”

I tried not to let her words affect me.

“I’m a monster for holding on to you for the fifteen years I was with him. And I’m a monster for repeatedly talking about him to you. Because I just keep hurting you. But my heart will always be torn. I’ll always love you both.”

I held her tighter. “I know. I understand.” I did. It hurt, but I did. “We’re going to be okay.”

She sniffed again. “I’m not okay, Matt. I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.” She let one of her arms fall, wrapping it in front of her stomach.

And I wondered if she was thinking about the child she’d lost. “You will be, Brooklyn.” I’d make sure of it.

We stood in silence for a few more minutes.

“Oh my God.” She pulled away from me and pushed some of the plastic covered garments aside. “You kept it.”

“Kept what?”

“My wedding dress.”

I actually didn’t know that was in there. I had stayed away from this room after my mom packed away all Brooklyn’s things. Painting her had been my therapy. Going through her old things would have hurt more than it helped. I tried to step around her to see the dress.

But she immediately spun around to block me. “You’re not allowed to see it. That would be bad luck.”

I smiled. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

My eyes searched hers. “Does that mean you’re planning on wearing it soon?” We had barely spoken about being engaged. With everything that happened. But I wanted to move forward. I was done with living in the past.

“I…” Her voice trailed off. She pressed her lips together and looked down at the ring on her finger. Or maybe she was peering down the front of her dress at where the rings Miller gave her were hanging against her chest.

“I…I…can’t…” Tears started falling down her cheeks.

Baby.I reached out and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. She didn’t need to say it. I had my answer. She wasn’t ready. “I’ll wait another lifetime if I have to.”

She laughed through her tears. “I don’t want to wait a lifetime. But…I’m not ready. Yet. Soon though. I promise.”

I knew she was still grieving. But I was worried that she’d always be.

I was glad my ring was back on her finger where it belonged. But she should have had a wedding band too. She’d said it herself. She’d always been mine, even when we were apart.

And we were already acting like a married couple. Maybe it was the officiality of marriage that unsettled her. A piece of paper that said she was mine. Instead of his. “I’m not asking you to forget him,” I said.

She stared up at me with her big blue eyes. “I know.”

Then what was the problem? “You said yes to my proposal.”

“I did.”

She really wasn’t giving me much to work with here. “A marriage proposal.”

Brooklyn exhaled slowly. “And what’s so wrong with being engaged?”

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