Page 88 of Forever

“Fair.”

“I’m also not handling a monkey for the next…” Mason looked down at his watch “…eight hours. But I would like to point out that I have a watch. Not that it matters. Because I already know I’m your best man.”

I clapped him on the back, but didn’t reply.

Mason gave me a hard stare.

“I mean…you’re not even doing the ring test.”

“I’ll gladly hold your rings on the day of your wedding. I’m not fondling a monkey though. But I’ll be at your house later so you can beg me on your knees.”

I laughed. “Never.”

“We’ll see.”

“It tried to bite my nipple!” Rob yelled.

He’d taken his shirt off. Apparently he was taking the skin-on-skin thing seriously.

“None of my kids ever tried to bite me. How long do we have to care for these things?”

“Everyone come by my house at midnight. Whoever’s monkey is the happiest wins. You two come too,” I said to James and Mason.

“Right. So you can beg me,” Mason said.

“Never,” I whispered.

“See you lads at midnight.” Tanner saluted me. And his monkey almost pulled off a salute too before Tanner turned and walked away.

Wow. Okay.Tanner was definitely winning this thing. Especially because Rob’s monkey was still trying to bite him. And Nigel’s monkey didn’t look like he liked being held like a baby. He kept trying to slap Nigel’s face.

***

“Is it even legal to have a monkey as a pet in New York City?” Brooklyn asked.

I shrugged. “No idea.”

“Your friends could be arrested.”

“Trust me, it’s better than what they wanted to do.”

“Which was?”

I laughed. “Nigel wanted to have a dick measuring contest.”

Brooklyn laughed too. “Well, that would have ended poorly for everyone else.”

“He also tried to do it in the middle of the Empire High football stadium.”

“Yeah, your friends are definitely going to get arrested.”

“Trust me, it’ll be fine. No one will get in trouble.”

“Matthew Caldwell.” She sighed and leaned against the counter. “I almost forgot that you never get in trouble. Even though you are trouble.”

I laughed. “Me? Trouble?”

“You gave your friends monkeys to take care of. And none of them have experience with monkeys. And they’re in the middle of a crowded city. You’re trouble. Especially since the best man competition is rigged.”