Page 94 of Forever

Justin shrugged. “I remember it differently in my dreams.” He clapped his hands together. “Now that all the food is situated, it’s time we try on that dress. So you boys need to get out of my studio and leave the rest of the work to the ladies.”

“We barely ate anything,” Mason said. He turned to Matt. “I came here straight from work and I was promised lots of food.”

“Want to go get some takeout or something?” Matt asked.

“No need.” Justin snapped his fingers and waiters balancing tons of takeout containers walked over to the table. “You can have all the leftovers. You can take forever eating on your own time. Now leave.”

Matt leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“You can’t see me in my dress. It’s bad luck.” I swallowed hard. I hated thinking of anything else bad happening.

“Nothing bad is going to happen. But if you insist.”

I put my hand on Matt’s cheek. I wanted to believe him. But there was this little voice in the back of my head. Bouncing around, trying to make me listen.Everyone I love dies.I immediately pushed it away. Matt had taught me that wasn’t true. That’s why we had friends and family with us here. That’s why he was here. “Have fun with Mason.” I let my hand fall from his cheek.

I thought he’d stand up and leave, but instead he leaned in closer. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

I pressed my lips together. I was missing Miller. I was missing my mom. I was worried I’d never get to meet this baby. And I was worried that one day soon, if we walked down the aisle, I’d be missing Matt. Because Iwasbad luck. My heart was just aching. With pain from my past and worry for my future. And I didn’t know what to say. Because we’d talked about all this. I just didn’t know how to let go of that fear that my whole world would be ripped apart again.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Just tell me. I know you’re missing him. I know this is all fast. If it’s too fast…”

I quickly shook my head. “That’s not it.”Not exactly.I wasn’t sure my heart would ever stop aching for Miller. But it felt like my heart beat better around Matt. Like if I was ever going to heal, I needed him by my side. Tanner had told me that it was hard to grieve alone. He was right about that.

“This is what I want,” I said. I grabbed Matt’s hand. “You’re what I want.” I lowered my voice even more. “I’m just…scared.” I didn’t need to say anything else. He knew all my fears.

“There is nothing to be scared of.” He dropped his forehead to mine.

I slowly breathed in his exhales. Matt wanted me to be honest with him. That was our deal. That I could tell him everything on my mind. “And yes, I do miss him.”

He didn’t respond. But he squeezed my hand.

“And I wish my mom were here. I’ve been thinking about her a lot ever since I found out I was pregnant.”

“I wish I could have met her,” he said.

“Me too.” She would have loved Matt. And she would have loved Miller. She would have understood my heart belonging to both of them. Because her heart hadbelonged to two people too. Me and my father. She’d chosen me. But she’d still only ever loved my father.

“Matthew and Mason, you need to leave now,” Justin said. “Or I will have someone remove you from the premises.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Matt cradled my face in his hand. “You are so loved, Brooklyn. And I know it’s not the same, but my mom and Mrs. Alcaraz are so excited to be here.”

“I know.”

“But…I have an idea about your mom.”

I stared at him. “What’s your idea?”

“I’ll tell you when you get home.” He gave me one last kiss and then helped Mason with all the takeout containers.

Justin turned toward me. “Now get your sexy ass into that dress so we can assess the damage.”

I hated how he’d put that. But it made me smile. I turned to watch Matt walk out the door. He somehow managed to balance the containers in one hand as he ran his index finger across the tip of his nose.

Our secret signal.

I had no idea what Matt was planning, but whenever he had a surprise, I knew it would be a good one. I took a deep breath and turned to Justin. “Okay, let’s assess the damage.”

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