Page 16 of Any Which Way

As if knowing I need to continue before I inadvertently burst or forget what the fuck I’m doing on stage, the music shifts again.

And I knowthisis the moment I have been most afraid of since the idea of this performance started to take shape in my mind just over two short months ago.

Pairs of hands reach into the cage from multiple directions, their owners masked under the darkness of the rest of the stage and their near solid-black clothing. They belong to other performers of Glittering Vices—students of the body liberation workshops I’ve been taking, of Ryan’s ongoing classes, even one or two members of the staff.

Together, the collective group tears at my carefully constructed shirt and pants, shredding them away small pieces of fabric at a time until I stand in my final nude bodysuit, chest heaving, music silent, in what looks to be a tattered heap of my former self. The spotlight dims as if the performance is about to end, but the orchestra picks up softly, the red light shifting upward as white feathers begin to fall from the domed ceiling of the cage.

I watch as if in awe. As if these feathers falling from Heaven are beckoning me to break free of my cage.

Truthfully, it’s not all an act.

Because Iamin awe of the fact that this is my life.

That through all my fuck ups and shortcomings, through my near disastrous youth and constant fear of failing others, I’ve truly found my place among my two lovers who not only accept me any which way I choose to be, but truly continually push me to be the best version of myself.

Slowly, the cage door that once kept me prisoner lowers as the feathers continue to fall. The light, still tinted red, continues to brighten.

I step out of the cage, one foot slowly followed by the other, strutting across the stage with newfound confidence until I stand in the center, facing the audience head on in what appears to be nothing but a second skin.

And when the light quickly shifts from red, transforming into a bright, white spotlight, tiny pieces of sheer, reflective fabric shine the light back out across the audience like a funhouse mirror full of endless twists and turns.

It’s evocative of the dichotomy that runs through me each day. The harsh mirror-like shards that cover my body over the delicate layer of mesh. Only with a little luck and gentle prodding from the people I love and those I’ve come to call my friends do I finally feel like the two sides can be at peace with one another.

For the first time since I took the stage, I can see the eyes of the audience.

Ryan stands near the back of the club, her arms wrapped protectively around a beautiful blonde, both women with huge smiles on their faces. But it isn’t them I’m searching for.

Continuing to look with haste, I find Brynn and Eleri at a small table closest to the front of the stage. I laugh to myself, knowing it’s the first place I should have looked, Brynn always wanting to be up close to the action.

Of course, she has noticeable tears in her eyes. Brynn’s emotion and joy plays across her face as she mouths, “I love you”. Eleri, ever the more stoic of the two, gives a small, approving nod that means just as much as Brynn’s outward emotion. The pair are holding hands across the table, simply staring at me in awe as the rest of the audience applauds and cheers.

Somehow, despite the commotion all around and a stage still separating us, it’s as if we’re the only three souls on Earth.

Still, while I’m eager to make my way to the dressing room and return to my street clothes so I can join them to take in the rest of the evening’s performances while soaking in the afterglow of my own, I’m even more excited for when we finally get to go home later tonight.

And not just because I’m as desperate to get out of the cage constricting my cock as I was to get out of the cage holding me back on the Glittering Vices stage a few short moments ago.

Though, I mean, that’sabsolutelya consideration, too.

The newly delivered armchair that sits in the corner of our bedroom is much more cohesive with the overall decor than the kitchen chair we had become so fond of over the last few weeks.

Tonight, though, it won’t be used as a place to sit restrained while I’m forced to watch as my lovers play. Some say baseball is the great American pastime. Generally, I think it’s watching the people you love experience pleasure, seventh inning stretch or not.

Our clothes are scattered around our bedroom—a tailored suit jacket and pants belonging to Eleri along with her merlot-colored lace cami that had me staring at her cleavage all night. My accurate down to the last sequin flapper dress I wore will have to be dry-cleaned because I somehow managed to get cheese sauce on it at some point during the night. But that’s a problem for future me. And Kai, who generously offered to pay to have the rented costume laundered.

I’m naked and in bed alone, aside from the pearl necklace still looped around my neck hanging all the way down to mynavel. I kind of want to wear it every day because it makes me feel fancy, but I know I’ll have to take it off soon.

It’s late, and I should be exhausted.

But after surprising Eleri with a Roaring Twenties themed party at Glittering Vices for her fortieth birthday, I have enough adrenaline coursing through my body to keep me awake for a week straight.

Kai enters the room he now shares with us full time, his own tired face perking up when he lays eyes on me. “Well shit, it’s not my birthday, but I feel as if I’m the one about to get a present.”

Eyeing the door, I shush him before throwing a small yet very stretchy item of clothing toward him, happy to still hear water running on the other side of the ensuite bathroom door a few feet away. I remove the pearls, leaving them on the mattress. “Come on,” I whisper. “We probably only have a few minutes until she’s out.”

“What are you up to, troublemaker?” He’s quieter but still not as quiet as I’d like him to be.

My wife has a ton of talents, her uncanny ability to hear anyone over the sound of anything one of their more inconvenient traits when I’m trying near silently to stealthily get Kai to follow my plan I once again might have forgotten to tell him about ahead of time.

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