Page 4 of Any Which Way

With gentle fingers, I trail over the smooth surface of the glossy four-by-six-inch photograph. It’s me, nearly identical hair and beard to what I have now. Slightly skinner and way naiver about the world that lay ahead of me.

The delicate fishnets I wear in the picture hugeverything. My heavy cock lays against my stomach in the photo, the crisscross pattern running from the tips of my toes, trailing up my legs, and only coming to a stop to sit low on my hips. They’re the only stitch of clothing I wear as I lay stretched out on a plush bed covered with pillows and blankets as gentle light illuminates me from a nearby bedroom window.

I miss the version of the man staring back at me.

I don’t remember the exact moment I decided to lock him away, decided being soft wasn’t going to get me what I wanted in life. Instead, each experience I had over the course of a few years stacked on top of one another like a clumsy toddler playing with a pile of wooden blocks until they came crashing down around me.

The man in the photo in front of me—the man who loved to feel decadent fabrics against his skin, who craved submission at the hand of a strong yet understanding woman… That man doesn’t exist in this life.

But if the flyer Eleri gave me last week for the Glittering Vices workshops is to be believed, there might be a way to find my path back to the version of myself I’ve slowly begun to crave while still staying true to the man I am inside today.

With unsure hands, I unfold the paper, smoothing out the creases which have etched themselves into the sheet as if part of its very essence. Words dance across the glossy flyer—liberation,freedom,expression, self-love. Together, they swirl with the words dancing through my brain, the fundamentals oftrust,communication, andhonestythat Brynn, Eleri, and I expertly built our relationship upon.

I sift through a few more pictures of younger, lingerie-covered me as the flyer continues to taunt me with its inanimate yet somehow mocking tone. Hidden mementos of a time before I met the women who hold my heart. Silks and delicate lace, bright neon colors and muted nudes. They’re all mixed into the stack of photos I hold in my trembling hands.

Knowing the love Eleri and Brynn have for me, it should be easy to take this next step, to confide in them. But though I have learned to excel in my role as a dominant, though I have given numerous partners the freedom to be their true selves and let go, I am rarely able to do the same for myself. Especially now, after I’ve kept this part of myself from them since the day we began our relationships.

“Honey, I’m home!” Brynn’s sing-song voice brings an instant smile to my face despite the storm raging in my stomach.

I look between the photos in my hand and the doorway to my room, knowing my gorgeous girlfriend will be crossing the threshold into my space in less time than it takes to recite thebadass monologue the president gave before the climactic battle in Independence Day. The original, of course.

Taking the few moments I have, I tuck the pictures under the flyer, making sure that they’re photo side down. God only knows I don’t want to be the cause of Brynn fainting…again.

Her smile radiates warmth, brightening the space the second she walks into my room.

“To what do I owe the pleasure? I was excited when I saw your car in the driveway. The great Kai Soren home in themiddle of the day?” She exaggerates the end of the sentence as if I’ve never left the office before five in the evening.

Though truthfully, she may be right. I can’t remember the last time I made it home for dinner with both Brynn and Eleri. Hell, half the time, I only see Eleri in passing. I’d love to see her more. To touch her just as much as I do Brynn, to feel Eleri touching me.

But first thing’s first.

Meeting Brynn halfway across my bedroom, I pull her into my arms, slanting my lips against hers as I delve into her shoulder length hair with my hands. She startles for half a second before melting into my body, her lips parting with a surprised gasp.

We break apart, her breaths unsteady while her plump lips already show the barest hint of being kissed. “I wanted to make sure I got to spend some time with you before you went to volunteer tonight.”

“Well, lucky for you, I don’t have to go into the shelter tonight to take pictures of the animals.” Brynn does a little dance that’s supposed to be silly, but it only serves to wake up my cock for the first time in what feels like weeks. Even now, she is effortlessly sexy, effortlessly herself in a way I both admire and envy at times.

I only wish she saw it in herself the way I do.

“For the first time in seven years, there are no animals at the shelter! Some big-shot athlete shared a recent post online, and it went viral. They’ve had such a generous influx of cash donations and supplies that donations are now being routed to other local area shelters.”

“You mean a postyoucreated. Don’t be so modest, Brynn. You’re the one who made that happen for everyone involved. You should be proud of yourself.”

Her nose wrinkles like an unpleasant smell is in the air instead of the ever-present smell of clean cotton that follows Brynn wherever she goes. “Iamproud. It’s just…”

I don’t give her time to finish, knowing she’ll only further disparage herself and her successes. “One more negative word about yourself and I’ll make you write lines every night for a week.”

“You wouldn’tdare.”

Of course, I actually would dare. And with a simple arch of my brow, my intention is made clear. Hey, I didn’t say I didn’t want to embrace my dominant side at all. And Brynn’s responsiveness makes itsoappealing.

Moving our conversation along, I guide us back to the topic I hope to discuss with Brynn.

We’re close, still just a few inches between us. I reach out to link my fingers with Brynn’s, instinctively looking for something to ground me to this moment before my nerves lift me off the ground like an overpriced, helium-filled balloon. “Actually, this works even better. Unless you already have plans? There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, something I want to show you.”

Brynn laughs, the sound echoing through my room like music on the wind. “As if plans would keep me from whatever this is.” She waves her free hand over my body. “It’s not every day you exude anything other than confidence.”

I don’t crack a joke, causing Brynn to sober. The color drains from her eternally bronzed skin. “Oh, my God, Kai. Is everything okay?”

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