Page 16 of Starting Anew

This was definitely a horrible idea. The last thing she needed was to have to drive back home, in the dark, while crying. No, it was too late to turn back now.

She’d always wonder if her parents would’ve turned her away again. Wonder if they wouldn’t have and she’d missed her chance to talk to her sister again. Lynn could imagine an amazing reunion with Perry, but she couldn’t imagine reconnecting with her parents. Oh sure, miracles could happen. But it would take just that—a miracle.

No, she couldn’t do this to herself. She couldn't allow herself to conjure up all the negative ways this little trip could go. She had to stay positive that this was the right first step to take, no matter what happened.

She turned onto a side street and stopped her car along the curb. The two-story house at the end of the cul-de-sac looked exactly like it had the last time Lynn saw it, except the trees out front seemed a little taller. She’d expected the place to look different somehow. As though the stress of the last two years ought to be evident on the house itself.

The cell phone on the passenger seat pinged making Lynn jump and sending her heart rate through the roof. She released a lungful of air as she swiped at the screen. Nathan’s name appeared along with a short text. “How’s your evening going?”

Lynn smiled. He had no idea how much of a loaded question that was. She almost typed back “It’s fine,” but stopped herself. “I’m sitting outside my mom and dad’s house trying to get the courage to go knock on the door.”

She didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

“Wow. That’s a big move. I’ll be praying it goes well.”

His words added a small dose of peace she needed to her mix of nerves. Knowing he was praying for her meant a lot, and suddenly she was glad she’d told him about it. It made her feel a little less alone. She responded to his text. “I appreciate that.”

“Let me know how it goes if you’re up to it.”

His typed words made her smile. “I will. Thanks again.” She slipped the phone into a small bag she’d brought with her. Sitting out here in the car for a while longer wasn’t going to change her situation. She may as well go in and get this over with. Wondering what was going to happen had to be way worse than what she was going to experience. Right?

As she walked toward the house, her stomach did a flip. There was a time when approaching this place meant home. Security. Love.

Now, only a healthy dose of apprehension followed her up the walkway to the front door. Lynn took a tentative breath. Held it.

Perry used to hate the sound of the doorbell. Lynn didn’t want to risk scaring her sister if that was still the case, so she used the metal knocker to announce her presence instead.

Several excruciatingly slow moments passed until she heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Metal brushed against metal as the deadbolt slid away and the door opened.

It’d been over two years since she’d last seen her father. Looking at him now, however, Lynn could almost believe she’d traveled through time to ten more years in the future. His dark hair that once only showed gray along the temples was now more salt than pepper. She focused on his eyes. New wrinkles had taken residence at the corners, but the dark brown irises were the same.

The surprise on his face was quickly replaced with the stoic sternness she’d grown accustomed to as a child. Any hope she’d had that tonight might be different was quickly extinguished. She did her best not to let the disappointment show. “Hi, Dad.” She forced herself to offer a tentative smile.

Lynn was a grown woman. Yet standing here in front of her father made her feel very much like that awkward teen who’d disappointed him over and over again.

He watched her for several heart beats before finally speaking. “Remind me: what are you calling yourself again?”

She suppressed a sigh. When she’d walked away from the music scene and changed her name, she’d told her family. At the time, she’d hoped they’d see she was serious about things being different. Instead, they’d seen it as further evidence that she was leaving her family behind. She never could do anything right. “I go by Lynn now, Dad.”

“Right.” He still hadn’t given her any indication that he was going to invite her into the house. “Was there something you needed? If it’s money…”

“No, Dad. I don’t need money.” Lynn swallowed hard. “I just miss you all and was hoping I could come in and visit for a while.”

He was shaking his head before the words were even out of her mouth. “It’s late. Perry has an appointment with the cardiologist first thing in the morning. She needs her sleep.” He shifted his hand to the doorknob as though he were ready to close the door right then.

The cardiologist? Many individuals with Down syndrome had trouble with their hearts, but thankfully, Perry hadn’t been one of them. That she was needing to see a cardiologist now had Lynn worried. “Is she okay? What’s going on?”

“It’s only a precaution. You should go before it gets any later.” Before he could shut the door, the sound of Mom’s voice floated over his shoulder. “Ralph, who is it?”

Tears that were all too familiar filled Lynn’s eyes as Mom came into view. Her long, blonde hair was cut short and had a lot of white in it. It was still just as pretty as ever, though. There was a time when Lynn had wished she had hair like her mom’s. She looked into the eyes that were the same color as her own. “I was hoping to visit with you all for a while.”

Mom took a step forward and stopped. Moisture gathered in her eyes at the same time the muscles in her jaw worked as she clenched her teeth. Sometimes Lynn thought she might be able to get through to Mom, but Mom was never one to stand against Dad, and he was an immovable force.

Mom put a hand on Dad’s arm. “Like your father said, tonight isn’t a good time.”

“What if I came back this weekend? Could I buy you all dinner?”

There was the slightest hint of hope in Mom’s eyes that disappeared when Dad shook his head. “It’s not a good idea. It’s late, and you should get going before it’s too dark to drive. Goodbye…Lynn.”

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