Page 20 of Marrying Bonnie

Was it her? Surely it was. The thought was depressing.

She bit back a sigh.God, I wish I knew what was going on here. For a while there, I thought Lew might be the one. Maybe I was just being hopeful.Or she was completely clueless.

After all, Mom often insisted it didn’t bode well that she was in her thirties and still hadn’t gotten married. Bonnie didn’t agree, but it was nearly impossible to keep those criticizing words from invading her thoughts.

Mom always made sure to point out all of Bonnie’s flaws and make up some more. It’d frustrated Bonnie to no end. It’s a good thing she had a healthy dose of self-confidence. But what if her mom was right about at least some of it?

One thing was certain: She had to stop tying herself to a relationship that wasn’t meant to be.

Am I supposed to break up with Lew? Some kind of sign would be great, God.

Lew remained silent as they were shown to their table. It wasn’t until after they placed their order that he finally focused all of his attention on her.

“You should move back to town.”

Bonnie blinked at him. “I can’t do that. It’d mean losing my job. Finding somewhere else to live.” The consequences of such a decision made her light-headed. Besides, she’d gone through this entire thought process before accepting the change in her job location, and she was more certain now than ever that she’d made the right choice.

“You can come work for my company. I could get you a job as a receptionist tomorrow.” He watched her closely, his lips pressed together.

Work as a receptionist? There was nothing wrong with the job, but she loved her position as a nanny and couldn’t imagine trading her time with Gunner for a desk. She shook her head.

“You could move in with me,” Lew continued. “Then you wouldn’t need an apartment at all. At least we’d see more of each other.”

Bonnie’s stomach ached as tears came to her eyes. They’d had this discussion more than once. She’d made it clear that she wasn’t comfortable moving in with a guy unless they were married. He’d said he understood. Now she wondered just how true that was.

The waiter brought a welcome distraction as food was placed before them. To Bonnie, nothing about the manicotti steaming on her plate looked or smelled good.

In contrast, Lew dug right into his meatless lasagna.

Their meal was consumed in near-silence. Any attempts Bonnie made to direct their conversation to something safer was met with one-word replies.

A third of the way through her manicotti, she finally gave up and placed her napkin on top of her plate.

Lew had no problem finishing his meal. It was only after he’d set his fork down that he leveled his gaze on her. “Move back into Clearwater, Bonnie. Move in with me.”

In that moment, even though Bonnie had no idea what her future held, she knew that Lew wasn’t going to be in it. When she’d asked God for a sign, shehadn’t anticipated a blasted neon one hitting her right in the forehead.

“This isn’t working, Lew.We’renot working.”

He lifted a single brow as he stared at her. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m not quitting my job. And we’ve had this discussion before: I’m not moving in with you. I love being a nanny. I can’t imagine not working with children.” She shook her head. “The Echolls ranch is where I belong.” Her voice softened. “Things haven’t been right between us for a while. I think you know that as well as I do.”

There was no missing the intense disapproval on Lew’s face. He tossed his napkin onto the table and stood. He withdrew money from his wallet and placed it on the table. “Take care of yourself, Bonnie.”

“Wait, Lew. What about taking me back to my apartment?”

One side of his mouth rose an iota. “Why don’t you call Jace Echolls for a ride?” With that, he turned on his heel and left the dining area.

Bonnie sat and stared at her water glass. The flowers on the other side of the liquid appeared distorted. Changed.

Just like her life.

Tears burned behind her eyelids, but they weren’t tears of sadness or even embarrassment. She didn’t regret breaking up with Lew. Anger and annoyance were the cause of her tears, and much of it was directed at herself for letting things with Lew last this long.

Her chest tightened, and her throat ached. She’d wasted months with him.

Numbly, she glanced at her watch. Wyatt was still teaching a class at the stables and wouldn’t be free for another hour. Bonnie didn’t want to call Chrissy since she might be sleeping. She’d take a walk. Clear her head. Then call her brother to give her a ride back to the ranch.

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